Which Phase of Divorce Recovery Are You In?

Divorce Recovery

Divorce sucks! It’s that simple. But experiencing each phase of the divorce recovery process is crucial for total healing. You can’t skip to the last chapter. You have to read it all the way through.

Here are the phases:

  • denial
  • sadness
  • anger,
  • “Now What?”
  • regroup,
  • reinvention and
  • happiness!

The first three happen in autopilot. The fourth one seems to last forever, and includes some of the fifth one. But the last two can actually be fun! Seriously!

The reinvention phase gives you the opportunity to literally start over. Some of you like the career you’ve established up to this point. If it hasn’t suffered from what you’ve been through, use this renewed energy to take it to the next level.

But if you are ready for a clean slate to draw on, now’s the time. The world usually gives you a pass then divorce is the cause of your taking a new path. And chances are you are ready for something completely different. Now’s the time to go to culinary school, move to another country to “teach” your former vocation, be an organic farmer instead of a lawyer.

The reinvention phase is when you have to be honest with yourself, though. Considering how your life has changed, and how your priorities have changed, now is the perfect time to reassess what is still important to you, and what isn’t anymore. If you aren’t truthful with yourself now, you will be setting yourself up for more misery. Don’t do it! It’s a trap!

What are you passionate about now? Would that make you excited to get out of bed every morning? Blur the line between job and joy?

The answer to that, my friend, is what the reinvention phase is all about. If you can figure out how to make a living from your passion, you’ve won! You will have made your divorce the best thing that ever happened to you! Starting over can be fun and exciting. Your life lessons can be adapted to almost any situation. You are already starting out a step ahead because now you know precious this new beginning really is. It’s your turn! You get a do-over!

For the next couple of weeks I’m going to show you how I am a walking testament to my SELFISH philosophy. Go back to the post that explains the acronym for SELFISH. Read some of the other posts that interest you. It will all make sense as you read of my journey, and where I am now.

Until next time,

Happy Living!





Divorce Recovery 101 – Purge Negative Energy

531843_620430121305329_1575858389_nRemember when we started our Divorce Recovery 101 series? Well it’s back!

And today we are going to address how to purge negative energy from your life.

I mean all types of negative energy; people, situations, input, movies, TV… get the idea?

But especially people.

I want you to start listening to your intuition. When you meet someone, listen to your inner GPS, pay attention to the energy you feel from them. You can literally feel someone’s negative energy, and positive energy for that matter.

Even if you don’t feel it immediately, you can sense it in the way they react to others. If they make negative, judgmental comments about others freely, they have negative energy. If they are harsh in responding to people or situations, they have negative energy.

You know the kind, they seem to be everybody’s friend, until [Read more…]

Change Your World Fast! The Power of Attitude!

220px-Mae_West_LATThe fastest, cheapest, most efficient way to change your world fast is to change your ATTITUDE! 

When people start to question what they are doing with their life, “is this all there is…,” there is a major shift that takes place.

A pivotal point when you decide you are not going to do this anymore. You don’t want this anymore.

It’s time to change your world fast!

Enter SELFISH stage right!

As explained in my book, here is a recap of the acronym for the word SELFISH:

S – Self-first; self-love; self-fulfillment

E – Energetic lifestyle; physically and socially active

L – Laughter; choosing a positive attitude; enjoying life and being totally engaged in every moment;

F – Feeding your body with clean, lean, unprocessed foods;

I – Intelligence; feeding your mind and soul through traveling, exploring, learning and loving;

S – Success; being the successful, powerful woman you were meant to be;

H – Happy; being happy with the New You and the new life you have created.

Now, with that in mind, I say again – the fastest, cheapest, most efficient way to change your world fast is to change your ATTITUDE!

No one can make you feel anything you don’t let yourself feel. Only you can [Read more…]

Stop The Madness!

216766_492994147421906_40665948_nWhy do we feel guilty about doing what we need to do for us?

Why is that?

Why do we tend to pretend that it’s not that bad, or that it must not have happened, or that we can take it?

Why do we do that to ourselves?

I read an article today that shifted my thinking. It was by Danielle LaPorte.

When I was in my miserable marriage, people didn’t get it. They only saw what I projected to the world. I didn’t want the world to know how miserable I was. And my EX didn’t want the world to know because it would have been a reflection on himself.

I was living a lie.

I kept thinking it can’t be as bad as I think it is. Everybody else thinks he’s [Read more…]

Divorced Woman’s 5 Tips to Happiness


To divorced women everywhere: if you are emotionally depleted, physically exhausted, completely spent, come sit by me. By the time I’m done with you, YOU are going to be HAPPY!

Here are my 5 Best Tips to Happiness:

1) Stop telling that old story: stop feeding your past a lifeline; stop reliving those painful feelings every time you tell your story. As long as you continue to talk about the past,  it will have power over you. Pull that plug before it turns back into the monster you are so desperately trying to escape from! Also, stop using that story as the reason you are not happy now. That is just a cop-out!

2) Start seeing yourself and your life differently:  One of the easiest, cheapest, most effective ways of changing your world is completely in your control! And it’s all in how you choose to see yourself and your world. You already have everything you need inside of YOU right now to be happy! You are only a victim if you choose to respond that way. You can just as easily be the victor. Bad things happen to everybody, but your response to it dictates how this is going to turn out. Don’t let someone else write your ending. YOU be the leading lady in your own life!

3) Stop taking everything personally: For some reason, and I was the worst, we take everything that happens as either a reflection of ourselves, or as if we were responsible for how things turned out. That’s crazy! [Read more…]