Ok – you are finally free from the ugly marriage you were in. You have released yourself from the physical obligation of that marriage. You have released yourself from the legal obligation of that marriage.

But have you released yourself from the emotional obligation? Have you forgiven yourself for your part in it and released it to the Universe?

Good question. And a question that deserves an honest answer – from YOU.

You can say that you are over it all day long, but are you really?

Can you tell that old story without getting all worked up again? Can you honestly say that you have let go of your resentment for the way you were treated in this whole thing? Do you really feel like you have made peace with the past and your part in it?

It’s time to Stop Holding A Grudge! 

It’s time to release the past and the power it has over you.

As long as you breathe life into that old story by retelling it and talking about it, the longer it will have power over you. Because the only one that suffers is you! (And your kids if you have any.)

When I say “power” I mean the effect it has on your emotions; the effect it has on your decision making. And how talking about that time in your life can bring back those painful feelings that you so desperately want to escape from.

But how can you escape from those feelings if you continue to bring them back into your existence? And you are doing it to yourself! Stop it!

“You don’t drown by falling in water. You drown by staying there.” ~ Unknown.

Yes, you have to mourn the loss of the “dream” of a happy marriage. It is part of the healing process and it is healthy. But continuing to use that story as an excuse for why you are not happy now is a cop-out.

You are essentially floundering in the past and letting it define you.

Your divorce does not define you – YOU define you!

If you’ve read my book , you know that how you choose to respond to your divorce dictates how this is going to turn out. You can wallow in self-pity, not changing the circumstances and prolonging your misery, or you can choose to make the most of this new chance at happiness.

“Let go. Why do you cling to pain? There is nothing you can do
about the wrongs of yesterday. It is not yours to judge. Why
hold on to the very thing which keeps you from hope and love?”
~Leo Buscaglia~

You should be thanking your lucky stars that you have another chance at happiness! Because the first time didn’t work out so well!

As long as you continue to give your old story a lifeline, you will never get past the pain. You will forever be held back from reaching your full potential. Pull that plug sister now, before that monster comes back to life!

Remember, with life comes phases. And with each phase comes change. Consider this your next phase. You can make this next phase the best phase yet depending on how you choose to respond to your divorce.

Nothing good can come from retelling that old story. But limitless possibilities can come from releasing that past. Because it is your choice!

Stop Holding a Grudge!

You have a new chance at writing your own ending!

Don’t Waste It!

Until next time,

Happy Living!

Christia Sale

The Most SELFISH Woman in America!

Women’s Life After Divorce Expert

P.S. Are you still holding a grudge or are you letting go? Let me know how you are releasing your old story to make room for your new one by leaving a comment below. It may help others.

I am sharing her with you because I love her message and her energy.

The more people you hear sharing the same message of choosing happiness, using your gifts and talents, and making this world better than it was when you got here, the more likely you are to listen.

Her video was about letting those who are in your life hold you back from accomplishing your dream life. Watch it here: http://marieforleo.com/2011/05/people-holding/.

It’s good to hear someone else say that YOU are the only one who lets other people make you feel anything. You accept those feelings they are trying to project, whether positive or negative. It’s the same as choosing to participate, or not!

You can also choose who is in your life, and who stays in your life. You have that power.

Marie and I share the phrase ” lead by example.” You have to be the change you want to see. You have to be the person you would want to interact with. If you have read my book, you know you can exponentially have a positive impact on this world by the way your choose to behave and react in every situation. And with awareness comes responsibility.

So, who is in your life? Are there people who you had a relationship with for years, in that old phase of your life, that have not traveled down your new path with you? People who could relate to you when you were miserable, but are judging your new path because it is not comfortable for them, or makes them feel envious?

The reality is that not every relationship is suppose to last forever. In fact, the only relationship that does last for ever is between you and THE BIG GUY.

People drift in and out of our lives all the time. Some stay for quite awhile and some are just passing through.

Relationships, like everything else, have phases of life. A beginning, a middle and an end. Like Marie says, to expect anything to last forever is setting yourself up for failure. And who wants that?

So if you have friends or family members who are having “trouble” with the new you and the new life you are creating for yourself, their time in your life might be coming to an end. And it’s OK. Your journeys are naturally growing in different directions.

No one’s path is going to look like yours anyway. It’s not suppose to. Your journey is as unique as you are. And sometimes you find someone who’s path is complimenting to yours and your lives are able to co-exist for quite some time.

But when connections you have had with friends or family start thinning out, don’t take it personally. Nothing is suppose to last forever, no matter what we were raised to believe.

Here’s where leading by example come in. When your paths take different directions, don’t judge that person or their path. Be understanding and accepting. Release them and let them go on their way.

The bottom line is that you have to take responsibility for who is in your life and the effect you are going to allow them to have on you.

Change the way you think about your life. Choose who you are going to spend time with and who you are not.

Be the architect of your success by choosing how you think, how you live, how you behave, and who is in your life.

Until next time,

Happy Living!

Christia Sale

The Most SELFISH Woman in America!

Women’s Life After Divorce Expert

P.S. Let me know how you feel about this topic in the comments below. I know it is not your normal way of thinking, so let’s discuss it!

Cheers!

One of the ladies was telling us that she would have never found her soul mate if she hadn’t had the courage to leave a miserable marriage. She said that she never knew this level of love existed. And she was talking emotionally and physically!

The more we talked about it, the more I heard a common thread. All of these ladies perceive themselves as much happier after their divorce than before. More empowered, more worthy, more balanced – happier.

Another one of the ladies commented that women our age, who had the courage to break away from their miserable marriages, can feel young and full of promise again. They can get that old “sass” back. They just have to give themselves permission to do so. These women were perfect examples.

Remember… that young girl… who used to get giddy when she saw a boy she liked? The girl who used to feel like she could do anything? That girl can be you, and you are the only one that can give yourself permission to feel that way again.

Women feeling that exuberance for life and love again. Feeling brave, confident, flirtatious. And I don’t just mean flirtatious with men, I mean flirtatious with life!

These are women happily divorced. Women who want to enjoy life to the fullest. Women who take control of their happiness.

With confidence comes sass, and with sass come flirtation. With flirtation comes fun. And isn’t that one of our goals in life – to have more fun? To enjoy life to the fullest? To be in each and every moment?

Even physical intimacy takes on a new meaning. It isn’t for procreating anymore. It’s for fun. Yes, it’s also for showing someone how you feel about them, but it’s fun. That feeling of playfulness is prominent in these women’s lives again. They are enjoying themselves.

This is one of the benefits of being the leading lady in your own life. Giving yourself permission to have fun again. And what you do with it is up to you.  Because it’s your turn.

New life! Fresh start! Endless possibilities!

You have been given a second chance at happiness! You can feel young and sassy again! Give yourself permission to live the life of your dreams! Be one of the women happily divorced!

Your happiness is a choice – your choice. The time is now! The power is yours! Use it!

Until next time,

Happy Living!

Christia Sale

The Most SELFISH Woman in America!

Women’s Life After Divorce Expert

P.S. If you feel like you need a little help getting started, click here. I’m here to help! My goal is for you to be happy again! Together we can make it happen. It’s your choice!

Bad things happen to everybody, but it’s how we choose to respond that dictates the outcome.

I want to offer a few things to think about when you rebuild life after divorce.

1 – Choose to live with passion and purpose!

2 – Choose to create the life of your dreams!

3 – Choose to live a healthy, active lifestyle!

4 - Choose to be happy!

5 - Choose to make this world a better place than it was when you got here!

That may sound big. Maybe even insurmountable. But you would be shocked how easy and natural it really is when you tap into your true and authentic self. It is much easier than conforming to what someone else wants you to be. One gives life, and one sucks it out of you.

It’s time to see the world differently – time to see yourself differently. It’s time to see yourself unfolding before your very eyes!

You  have probably suppressed your true self for so long, you forgot you were in there, smoldering, waiting to be set free. Chances are you were living in fear. Fear of losing what you thought you had, but really didn’t.

I have a completely different attitude about my self and my life now. I will never see myself the same way again. Thank You God!

And now it is YOUR turn! It is your turn to reassess how you are living your life. It is your turn to redirect your choices toward living with passion and purpose. It is your turn to choose to be happy!

How exciting is that? To be given a second chance to live up to your potential! To live with passion and purpose! To be happy! And only YOU can make that happen.

My challenge for you is to search your soul, ask yourself the following questions, and then to listen to your answers honestly:

- “Is this how I want to live the next half of my life?”

- “Do I have a passion and purpose in my life?”

- “Am I living my Dream Life?”

- “Am I happy?”

There will never be a better time to rebuild your life after divorce than now and I can help. What are you waiting for?

No really - What are you waiting for???

Until next time,

Happy Living!

Christia Sale

The Most SELFISH Woman in America!

Women’s Life-After-Divorce Expert

Now, for most of us, it just doesn’t work that way.

If you are one of those who can’t get the Ex out of your life, have I’ve got something for you!

The Cut Out Your Ex Knife Set!            

No – really! How funny is that???

This is  THE EX Kitchen Knife Set–2nd Edition by Raffaele Iannello. 

Now, you know I’m not suggesting that you use these knives in a way that is reflected in the image. That would be wrong!

But how funny/symbolic would this gift be for a friend, or even yourself, of how you have to not get sucked into the potential chaos that can come from an Ex that you can’t get rid of?

This is a reminder of how you need to choose not to participate in the negative, mud-slinging, name-calling vengeance that can be stirred up by a pestering Ex.

Don’t do it! Don’t get sucked in!

The fastest way to defuse the Ex is to not participate. Period! Don’t take it personally. He is just trying to either hurt you or get a rise out of you.

If you don’t participate, and he doesn’t get the reaction he is looking for, then he will get tired, and go somewhere else where he can get the reaction he is looking for.

And then you are free! You will no longer be his “entertainment.” You won’t be fun to engage anymore. He will look somewhere else to feed his ego.

And you will have accomplished this without the use of above knife set!

But there will always be that reminder, sitting on your counter, telling you that you are free!

See, it’s all in your attitude!

Happy Living!

Christia Sale

The Most SELFISH Woman in America!

Women’s Life After Divorce Expert

P.S. Do you see the humor in this? Let me know!

Today, when talking to my son about how he wanted to celebrate his birthday, I realized that he, and I, had officially changed from one phase of life to another. He was turning 18 years old, and I realized that he was not as easily entertained as he used to be.

Where I used to take the kids to the grocery store to buy their favorite foods on their birthday (because I am strict about what they eat at home), now it isn’t “special” anymore. Where I used to take them to their favorite place to eat or favorite thing to do, now it doesn’t have the appeal it once had.

So, there we are… talking about how different life is now. How he has already started his journey of finding himself, and I can’t participate anymore. I can be there in the background, emotionally and financially supporting him, but am no longer involved in his daily decision making about his future. He has started down his own path of self-awareness.

One of the hardest lessons to learn in parenting is when to stop parenting.

The reality of that hit me directly in the heart! Right between my need to nurture and my self-worth as a parent.

And the reality of that also makes me painfully aware of, yet again, transitioning into another phase of life. From married to divorced. From full-time parent to waving them on, teary-eyed, toward their futures.

Ouch! I have to admit. That stings!

But it also reminds me that it is my turn to make sure I am living an authentic life, living my life with passion and purpose. It is time to reassess, reinvent if need be, and redirect my life toward being the truest form of my self.

And that, my friends, takes the sting away!

With life comes phases, and with every phase comes change. It gives you a chance to tweak your direction, making sure you are going down your true path.

Until next time,

Happy Living!

Christia Sale

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

Women’s Life After Divorce Expert

P.S. Have you experienced this yet? How did you deal with it?

Leave me a comment with your perspectives. I look forward to hearing from you!

The season has changed, the weather has too, and the birds are carrying on like they are at a Sting concert!

It’s Nature’s invitation for us to get out there and party! Enjoy her wealth of offerings. Watch her domain come back to life, which is how Nature makes me feel. Alive!

When I see the green leaves and the tender sprouts appear as if on stage. I am the first one to applaud! I am a sucker for Nature. I feel closer to the Universe when I go outside and just sit in the sunshine, listening to the birds, feeling the breeze on my face. If I could bottle that feeling, I would be a bazillionaire! And yes, I would share, of course.

People take the vibrations of Nature for granted. They will enjoy the occasional blooming flower, but complain when the rain makes it harder to get to work.

There is a power in Nature that can feed your very soul if you learn how to tap into it. But that would require you to slow down, get out of the car, and listen… feel… breathe.

I have noticed that I see more hawks in my daily life than anyone else I know. It’s weird, but I see hawks on the streetlights almost every time I get on the freeway. Now granted, I live in Austin, which is on the edge of the hill country. But I see more hawks sitting on the streetlights that run down the middle of one of our freeways, and I think it’s because I am in touch with Nature. Maybe it is because I take the time to look, but those hawks make me feel more connected with the Universe. And that brings me peace.

Sitting in your house may be easier… you don’t have to put on makeup, get dressed, or spend money… but it limits your experiences. You can’t meet anybody new sitting in your living room. You can’t feel the breeze on your face when  you are facing the TV. You can’t feel that connection with the Universe when you are watching the Real Housewives of Wherever! It’s just not possible!

Every town has something to offer, whether it is a central park area, a river, a community garden, a zoo, insert your location here. And almost every town offers some type of group of people with similar interests as you. There are Meetup groups almost everywhere. There are food and/or wine interest groups, cycling groups, tai chi groups, wildflower enthusiasts… the list is endless. It’s your job to find them and hook up, because it’s not going to fall in your lap!

Find a group that shares similar interests and join. You will be glad you did. You will be getting out into the world, meeting new people, sharing a common interest,  learning something and hopefully contributing to the greater good somehow.

It is time to get out there and enjoy yourself. Because this is the year when we are going to focus on enjoying life, having more fun, and pushing ourselves beyond our boundaries. You can’t grow if you don’t initially get out of your comfort zone.

This is the time of the year when everything is fresh and new. And you can be too! Spring represents the rebirth of Nature, and it can do the same for you, if you let it.

New life is bursting out of the old, dormant frame. That can be YOU!

Welcome to Spring everyone!

Happy Living!

Christia Sale

The Most SELFISH Woman in America!

Woman’s Life-After-Divorce Expert

Yeah, I know, it’s that time of year again. The time when it becomes blatantly obvious that we are not in a relationship.

For some reason, we think that it is a reflection of our attractiveness. That we don’t “got it” anymore. Well it’s NOT Sisters!

Listen! Just because you are “between men” does NOT mean you aren’t attractive! It means you are taking a breather! A sanity break! A SELFISH break!

Now… I love men just as much as the next gal, but when you’ve survived the trenches of divorce warfare, you need a break. You need to focus on yourself for a change.

It’s time to thank your lucky stars that you’ve been given another chance at happiness! You escaped the noose! Hallelujah!

I think that’s cause for celebration! And this Valentine’s Day, I am gathering all you divorced women out there together for a free party/teleseminar to do just that!

At 10am Pacific, noon Central, 1p Eastern we are going to all meet up on the telephone, and I’m going to share with you the 7 Steps For The Most SELFISH Valentines Day Ever!

First and foremost we are going to change the way we think about ourselves. We are going to have an Attitude Adjustment! We are going to get right back up on that pedestal where we belong! Then we are going to change the way we see our lives and approach our goals – romantic and otherwise.

We are basically going to take our power back where it belongs! Long Live the Power of the Woman!

All you have to do to join us is sign up here: http://www.themostselfishwomaninamerica.com/valentines-day-teleseminar/

And I would suggest that you just go ahead and plan a party with your single girlfriends for that night. And expect there to be spontaneous cheering goin’ on! I’m talking bonfires and donkeys!  I’ll give you the details on the call. Sign up now and I will send you the teleseminar particulars closer to the date.

But rest assure that it will be one of your favorite Valentine’s Days EVER!

So sign up and get ready!

Until then,

Happy Living!

Christia Sale

The Most SELFISH Woman in America!

Women’s Life-After-Divorce Expert

• I forgave myself for the failure of my marriage.
• I released the power that my past had over me.
• I searched my soul for my purpose and passion.
• I listened honestly to the answers.
• I reconnected with the power of the Universe.
• I found my inner peace.
• I visualized my Dream Life, and made it my reality.

That’s why people call me the leading Women’s Life-After-Divorce Expert.

I’ve reached midlife, and I have children who are sprouting their wings. But what I have to teach you comes from what I learned from surviving a rough marriage and an even rougher divorce.

It was HELL!

But I’m through it now. Done with Hell! And I’m here to tell you that you do not have to be miserable anymore!

Is This Your Life’s Story, Too?

I was raised in an environment where family was the most important thing. So it was sad when I realized, at the beginning of my marriage, mind you, that I had made a big mistake. But by then I was already pregnant. I was also raised to believe that I should do everything possible to make a marriage work when there were children involved. So, I thought that if I tried hard enough, he would come around and realize how lucky he was to have a loving family. But he wasn’t used to that dynamic. Can you say dysfunctional childhood? I thought that I could “love” him to health. What was I thinking? I didn’t know any better. (I’m a hopeless romantic.)

How similar is this story to your story? Amazing, right?

I got so caught up in trying to make my marriage work that I totally lost myself in the process. Then I finally realized that nothing was going to save the relationship that I spent 17 years giving CPR to.

I woke up one morning and had an epiphany. “Screw this! Life is too short to be so unhappy. I don’t deserve to be treated this way. No one does! I am SO out of here!”

And that was all I needed. I was done. I was finished putting an egocentric, passive-aggressive (stop me now before I really get started!) husband’s needs above my own, and I was tired of living in a one-sided relationship. The thought of staying in this situation for the rest of my life made my skin crawl. My time here was over! I deserved better!

It was my turn, dammit!

Don’t get me wrong, it took me a while to mourn the loss of the dream of a happy marriage, to lick my emotional wounds, and get my feet back under me. It doesn’t matter who instigates divorce, it is still traumatic to all involved. Don’t kid yourself that someone else’s divorce was easier than yours. That would be rare. Divorce is painful for all of us in one way or another.

We all have to go through the mourning process. But during my journey of recovery, I discovered what I call the Seven SELFISH Steps for a positive reinvention after divorce. When sharing these revelations with my friends, they encouraged me to write them down and share them with other women in need.

And that’s when they started calling me their “Life-After-Divorce Expert.”

Then the real me came back out to play. One day at lunch with a girlfriend, she commented on how happy I seemed to be, especially considering what I was going through. I thought about it, and she was right. She asked me if I had found a lover or something.

I was shocked!

But the reality was that I was finding my “self” again. I was reacquainting myself with my personal power and potential. I was coming back to life. My friend thought that if I had found the “magic pill” for recovering from divorce, it was my obligation to share with the rest of our “sisters” what I had learned. From that point on, friends started recommending me to their friends and family who were in need of guidance after divorce.

So there you have it. Through my own positive recovery and reinvention, I became the leading Women’s Life-After-Divorce Expert. I became The Most SELFISH Woman in America!

It’s YOUR Turn

Now my goal, besides living the life of my dreams, is to share with others how to do the same. YOU do not have to be miserable and unhappy anymore! With these Seven SELFISH Steps, you too can release the pain of your past, and live the life you always dream of living. Be the person you always dreamed of being.

You cannot escape the mourning process, but you can make your divorce the best thing that ever happened to you. For whatever reason, you have been given a second chance to live the life of your dreams. Don’t waste it!

I will show you how to do just that. I will teach you how to release your past and the power it has over you, and identify your life’s purpose. With that knowledge, you can dictate your future, and realize that is all in your control.

You will also learn that your happiness is a choice, not a result of your circumstances. That may be one of the most powerful lesson you will learn from me. One of my gifts to you.

Your happiness is far too important to waste time reinventing the wheel. Let me guide you to becoming a SELFISH Woman so that you are not losing valuable time in your life being miserable.

Yes, the reason we are here is sad, but you will survive this, and end up with your best life yet if you follow my Seven SELFISH Steps for a positive reinvention. And why be sadder than you have to be? Why be more miserable than you have to be, for longer than you have to be? Stop the madness!

Let me, Christia Sale, The Most SELFISH Woman in America, and the leading Women’s Life-After-Divorce Expert, shorten your recovery, help you find your life’s purpose, and make your Dream Life your reality!

And all you have to do to start is to read my book The Most SELFISH Woman in America – How to Make Your Divorce the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You!

Available here on this website on the Shop page, Amazon.com and barnesandnoble.com.

I want to offer a few suggestions to think about in your mission to fix all of your wrongs by making a list of intentional rights.

New Year’s Resolutions:

#1 – Resolve yourself to having more fun!

#2 – Live a healthy, active lifestyle!

#3 – See something spectacular this year!

#4 – Feel something spectacular this year!

#5 – Live with passion and purpose!

#6 – Choose to be happy!

#7 – Choose to make this world a better place than it was when you got here!

There you have it. My suggestions for New Year’s resolutions, or should I say intentions. We start with the best intentions, and then as life unfolds, we forget them. But if we will embrace the lifestyle that incorporates these goals, we can’t help but be happier.

In reflecting back on what I did and learned last year, I am totally sold on living an adventure. You have to put yourself out there, though. You have to stretch beyond your comfort zone, and open yourself up to new experiences. And you’ve got to be cool with the unknown, which was challenging at times, to say the least.

But I see the world differently now. I see myself differently now. And I like it!

I have never been so open to what the Universe will offer me than I am now. I feel like I am blooming, unfolding before my very eyes. Who knew?

I guess I had suppressed my true self for so long, I forgot I was in there, burning, waiting to be set free. I think I was living in fear. Fear of losing what I thought I had, but really didn’t.

I have a whole different attitude about my self and my life. I will never see myself the same way again. Thank You God!

And now it is YOUR turn! It is your turn to reassess how you are living your life. It is your turn to redirect your choices toward living with passion and purpose. It is your turn to find that passion and purpose!

How exciting is that? To get a new chance to live up to your potential! To live with passion and purpose! And only YOU can make that happen.

My challenge for you is to search your soul, ask yourself the following questions, and then to listen to your answers – honestly:

- “Is this how I want to live the next half of my life?”

- “Do I have a passion and purpose in my work, and is it fulfilling?”

- “Am I using my gifts and talents?”

- “Is my life having a positive impact on this world?”

- “Am I living my Dream Life?”

- “Am I happy?”

There will never be a better time to be true to your passion and purpose than now. What are you waiting for?

Really – What are you waiting for???

May your New Year and your dreams come together as one healthy, happy life. This is my wish for you.

Happy New Year Everybody! And until next time,

GET SELFISH! BE SELFISH!  CHEERS!

Christia Sale

The Most SELFISH Woman in America!

Women’s Life-After-Divorce Expert