The season has changed, the weather has too, and the birds are carrying on like they are at a Sting concert!

It’s Nature’s invitation for us to get out there and party! Enjoy her wealth of offerings. Watch her domain come back to life, which is how Nature makes me feel. Alive!

When I see the green leaves and the tender sprouts appear as if on stage. I am the first one to applaud! I am a sucker for Nature. I feel closer to the Universe when I go outside and just sit in the sunshine, listening to the birds, feeling the breeze on my face. If I could bottle that feeling, I would be a bazillionaire! And yes, I would share, of course.

People take the vibrations of Nature for granted. They will enjoy the occasional blooming flower, but complain when the rain makes it harder to get to work.

There is a power in Nature that can feed your very soul if you learn how to tap into it. But that would require you to slow down, get out of the car, and listen… feel… breathe.

I have noticed that I see more hawks in my daily life than anyone else I know. It’s weird, but I see hawks on the streetlights almost every time I get on the freeway. Now granted, I live in Austin, which is on the edge of the hill country. But I see more hawks sitting on the streetlights that run down the middle of one of our freeways, and I think it’s because I am in touch with Nature. Maybe it is because I take the time to look, but those hawks make me feel more connected with the Universe. And that brings me peace.

Sitting in your house may be easier… you don’t have to put on makeup, get dressed, or spend money… but it limits your experiences. You can’t meet anybody new sitting in your living room. You can’t feel the breeze on your face when  you are facing the TV. You can’t feel that connection with the Universe when you are watching the Real Housewives of Wherever! It’s just not possible!

Every town has something to offer, whether it is a central park area, a river, a community garden, a zoo, insert your location here. And almost every town offers some type of group of people with similar interests as you. There are Meetup groups almost everywhere. There are food and/or wine interest groups, cycling groups, tai chi groups, wildflower enthusiasts… the list is endless. It’s your job to find them and hook up, because it’s not going to fall in your lap!

Find a group that shares similar interests and join. You will be glad you did. You will be getting out into the world, meeting new people, sharing a common interest,  learning something and hopefully contributing to the greater good somehow.

It is time to get out there and enjoy yourself. Because this is the year when we are going to focus on enjoying life, having more fun, and pushing ourselves beyond our boundaries. You can’t grow if you don’t initially get out of your comfort zone.

This is the time of the year when everything is fresh and new. And you can be too! Spring represents the rebirth of Nature, and it can do the same for you, if you let it.

New life is bursting out of the old, dormant frame. That can be YOU!

Welcome to Spring everyone!

Happy Living!

Christia Sale

The Most SELFISH Woman in America!

Woman’s Life-After-Divorce Expert

Yeah, I know, it’s that time of year again. The time when it becomes blatantly obvious that we are not in a relationship.

For some reason, we think that it is a reflection of our attractiveness. That we don’t “got it” anymore. Well it’s NOT Sisters!

Listen! Just because you are “between men” does NOT mean you aren’t attractive! It means you are taking a breather! A sanity break! A SELFISH break!

Now… I love men just as much as the next gal, but when you’ve survived the trenches of divorce warfare, you need a break. You need to focus on yourself for a change.

It’s time to thank your lucky stars that you’ve been given another chance at happiness! You escaped the noose! Hallelujah!

I think that’s cause for celebration! And this Valentine’s Day, I am gathering all you divorced women out there together for a free party/teleseminar to do just that!

At 10am Pacific, noon Central, 1p Eastern we are going to all meet up on the telephone, and I’m going to share with you the 7 Steps For The Most SELFISH Valentines Day Ever!

First and foremost we are going to change the way we think about ourselves. We are going to have an Attitude Adjustment! We are going to get right back up on that pedestal where we belong! Then we are going to change the way we see our lives and approach our goals – romantic and otherwise.

We are basically going to take our power back where it belongs! Long Live the Power of the Woman!

All you have to do to join us is sign up here: http://www.themostselfishwomaninamerica.com/valentines-day-teleseminar/

And I would suggest that you just go ahead and plan a party with your single girlfriends for that night. And expect there to be spontaneous cheering goin’ on! I’m talking bonfires and donkeys!  I’ll give you the details on the call. Sign up now and I will send you the teleseminar particulars closer to the date.

But rest assure that it will be one of your favorite Valentine’s Days EVER!

So sign up and get ready!

Until then,

Happy Living!

Christia Sale

The Most SELFISH Woman in America!

Women’s Life-After-Divorce Expert

• I forgave myself for the failure of my marriage.
• I released the power that my past had over me.
• I searched my soul for my purpose and passion.
• I listened honestly to the answers.
• I reconnected with the power of the Universe.
• I found my inner peace.
• I visualized my Dream Life, and made it my reality.

That’s why people call me the leading Women’s Life-After-Divorce Expert.

I’ve reached midlife, and I have children who are sprouting their wings. But what I have to teach you comes from what I learned from surviving a rough marriage and an even rougher divorce.

It was HELL!

But I’m through it now. Done with Hell! And I’m here to tell you that you do not have to be miserable anymore!

Is This Your Life’s Story, Too?

I was raised in an environment where family was the most important thing. So it was sad when I realized, at the beginning of my marriage, mind you, that I had made a big mistake. But by then I was already pregnant. I was also raised to believe that I should do everything possible to make a marriage work when there were children involved. So, I thought that if I tried hard enough, he would come around and realize how lucky he was to have a loving family. But he wasn’t used to that dynamic. Can you say dysfunctional childhood? I thought that I could “love” him to health. What was I thinking? I didn’t know any better. (I’m a hopeless romantic.)

How similar is this story to your story? Amazing, right?

I got so caught up in trying to make my marriage work that I totally lost myself in the process. Then I finally realized that nothing was going to save the relationship that I spent 17 years giving CPR to.

I woke up one morning and had an epiphany. “Screw this! Life is too short to be so unhappy. I don’t deserve to be treated this way. No one does! I am SO out of here!”

And that was all I needed. I was done. I was finished putting an egocentric, passive-aggressive (stop me now before I really get started!) husband’s needs above my own, and I was tired of living in a one-sided relationship. The thought of staying in this situation for the rest of my life made my skin crawl. My time here was over! I deserved better!

It was my turn, dammit!

Don’t get me wrong, it took me a while to mourn the loss of the dream of a happy marriage, to lick my emotional wounds, and get my feet back under me. It doesn’t matter who instigates divorce, it is still traumatic to all involved. Don’t kid yourself that someone else’s divorce was easier than yours. That would be rare. Divorce is painful for all of us in one way or another.

We all have to go through the mourning process. But during my journey of recovery, I discovered what I call the Seven SELFISH Steps for a positive reinvention after divorce. When sharing these revelations with my friends, they encouraged me to write them down and share them with other women in need.

And that’s when they started calling me their “Life-After-Divorce Expert.”

Then the real me came back out to play. One day at lunch with a girlfriend, she commented on how happy I seemed to be, especially considering what I was going through. I thought about it, and she was right. She asked me if I had found a lover or something.

I was shocked!

But the reality was that I was finding my “self” again. I was reacquainting myself with my personal power and potential. I was coming back to life. My friend thought that if I had found the “magic pill” for recovering from divorce, it was my obligation to share with the rest of our “sisters” what I had learned. From that point on, friends started recommending me to their friends and family who were in need of guidance after divorce.

So there you have it. Through my own positive recovery and reinvention, I became the leading Women’s Life-After-Divorce Expert. I became The Most SELFISH Woman in America!

It’s YOUR Turn

Now my goal, besides living the life of my dreams, is to share with others how to do the same. YOU do not have to be miserable and unhappy anymore! With these Seven SELFISH Steps, you too can release the pain of your past, and live the life you always dream of living. Be the person you always dreamed of being.

You cannot escape the mourning process, but you can make your divorce the best thing that ever happened to you. For whatever reason, you have been given a second chance to live the life of your dreams. Don’t waste it!

I will show you how to do just that. I will teach you how to release your past and the power it has over you, and identify your life’s purpose. With that knowledge, you can dictate your future, and realize that is all in your control.

You will also learn that your happiness is a choice, not a result of your circumstances. That may be one of the most powerful lesson you will learn from me. One of my gifts to you.

Your happiness is far too important to waste time reinventing the wheel. Let me guide you to becoming a SELFISH Woman so that you are not losing valuable time in your life being miserable.

Yes, the reason we are here is sad, but you will survive this, and end up with your best life yet if you follow my Seven SELFISH Steps for a positive reinvention. And why be sadder than you have to be? Why be more miserable than you have to be, for longer than you have to be? Stop the madness!

Let me, Christia Sale, The Most SELFISH Woman in America, and the leading Women’s Life-After-Divorce Expert, shorten your recovery, help you find your life’s purpose, and make your Dream Life your reality!

And all you have to do to start is to read my book The Most SELFISH Woman in America – How to Make Your Divorce the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You!

Available here on this website on the Shop page, Amazon.com and barnesandnoble.com.

I want to offer a few suggestions to think about in your mission to fix all of your wrongs by making a list of intentional rights.

New Year’s Resolutions:

#1 – Resolve yourself to having more fun!

#2 – Live a healthy, active lifestyle!

#3 – See something spectacular this year!

#4 – Feel something spectacular this year!

#5 – Live with passion and purpose!

#6 – Choose to be happy!

#7 – Choose to make this world a better place than it was when you got here!

There you have it. My suggestions for New Year’s resolutions, or should I say intentions. We start with the best intentions, and then as life unfolds, we forget them. But if we will embrace the lifestyle that incorporates these goals, we can’t help but be happier.

In reflecting back on what I did and learned last year, I am totally sold on living an adventure. You have to put yourself out there, though. You have to stretch beyond your comfort zone, and open yourself up to new experiences. And you’ve got to be cool with the unknown, which was challenging at times, to say the least.

But I see the world differently now. I see myself differently now. And I like it!

I have never been so open to what the Universe will offer me than I am now. I feel like I am blooming, unfolding before my very eyes. Who knew?

I guess I had suppressed my true self for so long, I forgot I was in there, burning, waiting to be set free. I think I was living in fear. Fear of losing what I thought I had, but really didn’t.

I have a whole different attitude about my self and my life. I will never see myself the same way again. Thank You God!

And now it is YOUR turn! It is your turn to reassess how you are living your life. It is your turn to redirect your choices toward living with passion and purpose. It is your turn to find that passion and purpose!

How exciting is that? To get a new chance to live up to your potential! To live with passion and purpose! And only YOU can make that happen.

My challenge for you is to search your soul, ask yourself the following questions, and then to listen to your answers – honestly:

- “Is this how I want to live the next half of my life?”

- “Do I have a passion and purpose in my work, and is it fulfilling?”

- “Am I using my gifts and talents?”

- “Is my life having a positive impact on this world?”

- “Am I living my Dream Life?”

- “Am I happy?”

There will never be a better time to be true to your passion and purpose than now. What are you waiting for?

Really – What are you waiting for???

May your New Year and your dreams come together as one healthy, happy life. This is my wish for you.

Happy New Year Everybody! And until next time,

GET SELFISH! BE SELFISH!  CHEERS!

Christia Sale

The Most SELFISH Woman in America!

Women’s Life-After-Divorce Expert

Your Sass is your attitude, your attitude comes from your confidence, and your confidence speaks to the world through your personal style without one word being said!

People immediately think you are what they see. The image you project is your way of telling the world who you are and how you feel about yourself. If you believe it, they believe it!

Research shows that a stranger makes a judgement of you within the first three seconds of seeing you, without one word being spoken. Thea and I want to make sure you are sending the message you want to be judged by through your style. Your initial impression speaks volumes, so we are going to make sure you mean what you are saying through your Sass & Style.

Also, we all need to look in the mirror every so often and reevaluate our style, but especially when you are reinventing yourself after a divorce, or other traumatic event in your life. You need to change your style to match your new life. You aren’t the same person you were before. You have different goals, different values, a different body and a different message to send to the world, so you want to be sure the message you are sending is the same message that the world is receiving.

Finding your sass is just as important as finding your style. When you start rebuilding your confidence, you start empowering your attitude, which is your sass. Your attitude is based on your confidence, and your confidence exudes through your personal style. They go hand-in-hand.

Your personal style should be considered your branding – branding yourself to the world. And you want to be consistent in your branding. It is one of our most powerful and controllable assets.

An important consideration is to be true to yourself and who you really are. Be consistent in your actions and your message. People can see right through inconsistencies.

Thea is a Signature Stylist, which is someone who can help you identify your personal style based on your lifestyle, your body and your personality. To learn about her services, you can find her at www.theawood.com. That is where you can also access her style videos and follow her blog.

If you don’t have access to a Signature Stylist, Thea recommends that you make a list of your strengths. Use three adjectives that describe you and three adjectives that you want the world to think when they see you. Then when you are shopping, ask yourself if this garment or outfit stays consistent with your message. Does it represent one or all of the adjectives you have chosen?

Maintaining consistency throughout your day can be challenging, but this is where your hair style and color, and the colors you choose to wear are important. You need to have a hair cut that compliments your features, not fits the latest style craze. The color of your hair and your clothing are equally important, both being complimentary to your skin tone and body shape.

Thea considers posture the most underrated asset we possess. The way we carry ourselves reveals our confidence, and our confidence comes through in our Sass & Style. Something as simple as consciously keeping your shoulders down and back can make a huge difference in your first impression. Open up your chest, pull your shoulder blades together, roll your shoulders back and down, and hold in your stomach. This is the easiest way to add inches to your height , elongate your look, and add confidence to your look.

And speaking of posture, it is one of Thea’s body language techniques, along with smiling and “smizing.” Smiling lets people know that we are open and approachable. Smizing, a term started by Tyra Banks, refers to smiling with your eyes. It makes you look warm, happy and approachable, which is big for attracting men. This makes men less fearful of being turned down, which apparently is one of their biggest concerns… in case you were interested.

As for clothing, there are a few general guidelines for flattering styles:

1) V-necks are flattering for most body types, but especially if you are large chested; most other necklines make you look like your chest is at your waist, and we can’t have that!

2) A good fitting bra is paramount to your overall silhouette; if you have not been professionally fitted for a bra in the last six months, or ever, you need to; bras only last six months before they start to loose their shape, which means you loose your shape, and again, we can’t have that! It may cost more, but your look depends on it!

3) To compensate for a thicker torso, which is a fact of life we will all have to deal with sooner or later, use color blocking to camouflage a thick middle; darker colors on the top, lighter colors on the bottom, and never let your clothes be tight.

To minimize your waistline, wearing a dark colored belt over a dark top, under a jacket, gives the illusion of a smaller waistline.

When talking neutral colors, black isn’t always best. There are not too many people with whom black looks good next to their faces. Black is too harsh. It takes high contrasting, stark features for black to look good against the face. Black was originally the color for mourning, and the little black dress was created by Coco Chanel when she was mourning the loss of her lover. It caught on and the rest is history, but that doesn’t mean that it looks good on everyone. It can just as easily make you look washed out, so beware.

Your best bet for neutrals are browns, grays, khaki or stone. Most people can find a brown that looks good on them, and grays are more for older people as their natural coloring fades. Keep this in mind when buying your neutrals.

Speaking of our color fading with age, Mother Nature cools our overall coloring, so we need to be less intense with the colors we add to our look. As we age, darker colors wash us out. So, no more darker hair color because you don’t want to look your age. Softer colors will make you look younger.

Thea’s Ten Shopping Tips:

1. Look in your closest, decide what you need, make a list, and then stick to the list! This keeps you focused, productive and probably saves you money!

2. Wear comfortable shoes and clothes when shopping; makes for easier on and off; that doesn’t mean sloppy; look good when you shop – it sets the tone for the experience;

3. Fit matters – size doesn’t; sizes vary between designer and the countries the clothes are make in, so don’t get stuck on a certain size, just get what fits you best; you can always have it altered to fit perfectly; just cut out the tags and never think about it again; fit is the most important thing;

4. Budget for alterations and get them done immediately; drop them off on your way home, and the clothes will be available to wear sooner;

5. Three items where money is no object:

1) A good fitting bra – there is no substitute!

2) Jeans that work on your body

3) A swimsuit that looks good on your body type; this can be difficult to find, so buy it, love it, strut it!

6. Fashion is fleeting, style is eternal; don’t fall for the “must haves”, you “must” stick with your style and what looks good on you, not what looks good in the magazines;

7. Light colors project, dark colors recede; use them to create balance in your look;

8. Use color to enhance your natural features;

9. Dressing monochromatically can make you look longer and leaner;

10. Use accessories to modernize or update your style.

OK, last two questions:

1) How to look like a movie star: statement earrings, posture and smile!

2) How to attract a man without saying a word: smize (smiling w/ your eyes), wear red (men are attracted to red), wear whites (the old white t-shirt and jeans attraction, the white seeming more pure and feminine) and over accessorizing makes them think you are high maintenance.

So now you know! If we haven’t covered all of your questions, look for a Signature Stylist in your area. It, and you, are worth it!

Until next time,

GET SELFISH! BE SELFISH! CHEERS!

Christia Sale

The Most SELFISH Woman in America!

Women’s Life-After-Divorce Expert

We started with the deep tissue treatment and worked our way toward the surface of the skin.

ENERGY BASE SYSTEMS:

Energy base systems are lasers, light sources and intense pulse light devises that provide the deeper treatments for the skin. These treatments help reverse the damage that has been done over the years. With all the new technologies available now, there is no need for surgery anymore.

Make sure you go to a doctor who has a good reputation. You want to only use doctors that are keeping up with the cutting edge techniques so that you know they are staying abreast of the newest procedures available.

Fractional therapy is perfect for sagging skin around the eyes, jowls and neck. It can be in ultrasound form or fractional radio frequencies. The energy penetrates about 4 millimeters under the skin, which is best for skin tightening. Fractional therapy sends heated light source through the skin in the form of minute holes, which trigger the body to fill in those holes with collagen naturally, building the skin back up and filling in wrinkles.

Of the fractional therapies, the Ulthera therapy, which is the ultrasound form, is a one time procedure with some pain and very little downtime. Done in office without issues. The tightening effect happens over 3 weeks to 6 months. Since the treatment is very deep into the skin, it bypasses the surface of the skin. There is no redness on the surface by the next day, so there is no real downtime, and no after procedure care.

The Ematrix fractionated radio frequency, depending on how deeply it is done, will have down time anywhere from 2-4 hours to 2 days. Redness and possible crusting on the skin can be expected. This one could need a few to several treatments to get to the desired results.

Best ways to tighten skin around the eyes and on the neck – fractional treatments.

TOXINS & FILLERS:

Botox is probably one of the safest wrinkle treatment. The only side effects are due to not being applied properly, i.e. using too much or putting in the wrong place. You need to make sure that whomever is applying the Botox has knowledge of anatomy to ensure proper application.

Botox is best for the furrows between the eyes and around the mouth.

There are three different products that do the same thing as Botox, and they are all about the same if effectiveness. It should last 3-4 months, but the effects may take up to 7 days to kick in.

Fillers: Restylane, Juvederm, Radiesse, Sculpture are the available products. Used for around to mouth, in the cheeks, in the lips, and last for up to 9 months. The Sculpture and Radiesse are best for the cheeks, and the Juvederm and Restylane are better for your lips and round the mouth.

Side effects of fillers are swelling and redness, depending on how much is injected.

For the lips, adding reasonable volume is the key, not balloon lips. Fillers are better than implants because there are not permanent.

Your body should absorb the filler at the same rate so that you have consistent “deflating” of the lips. But most people will not let their lips get to that point, if they liked the results in the first place.

These different therapies can be used in combination for an overall desired result.

Peels: Good for topical surface cleaning, but not as prevalent anymore. Skin care products can be more effective than peels.

Keeping stress down, not smoking and eating healthy are the most important basics to keeping your face and skin looking their best for as long as possible.

Laser hair removal is good for all areas of the body and face.

PRODUCTS:

Soap: Over the counter – Cetaphil; CeraVe – soapless cleansers

Moisturizer:

Over the counter – CeraVe; Olay

Dr. office – Neocutis moisturizer – Biocreme – Swiss products, growth factors, reverse damage, used to heal skin after procedures; Obagi

Eyes:

Over the counter – Olay ; Dr. office – Obagi

Dr. office – Neocutis Lumiere Eye Cream

Eye puffiness – Neocutis Lumiere Eye Cream, Obagi Lastoderm,

Skin Bleaching – Neocutis Blanch & Pearl – incredible

Skin Redness – Neocutis Peche

So there you have it! I hope this gives you some things to think about when it comes to looking your best without the knife.

Everything else in your life is being renewed, why not your looks too?

Until next time,

GET SELFISH! BE SELFISH!

Christia Sale

The Most SELFISH Woman in America!

Woman’s Life-After-Divorce Expert

PS: Let me know if you liked the topic for this show. Also let me know if these notes were helpful by leaving me a message. I promise I will read all of them!

Cheers!

What do you expect when people are in two totally different phases of life? That’s not fair to ask of either person. The younger person is eventually feel held back, and the older person will be put in a position of doubting either themselves or their spouse. What sense does that make?

The craziness is we think we are different when it comes to love. “No one is like me.” “Once they have me, they won’t want anyone else.” Yada, yada, yada….

The reality is that if either spouse has a laps in integrity, that is all it takes. It won’t matter how wonderful you are. The fact is that if they do it once, they will do it again. And do not let them convince you otherwise. People have control over their choices. You can always say NO. And if you choose to say YES, then you are also choosing the consequences of that choice. Their behavior is in their control. And whether you choose to allow it or not is all in your control.

So here we have another case of a spouse “wondering” shall we say, and the wife is left dealing with the pain, not to mention embarrassment, in public. Not only was she betrayed by her husband, but she was also punished for his behavior by having to deal with it in the public eye.

Here are three ways of possibly avoiding this whole fiasco:

1) Date someone in the same phase of life as you. This is paramount if you want to eventually get married.

2) Date them for at least 2 years. If you are in mid-life, it’s not like you are in the procreating phase. What’s the hurry!

3) If you are dating someone who has been divorced, make sure you know why. This is very telling of what you can expect. Be realistic.

At this age, common sense rules. The heart should be heard, but reason should prevail, because you have seen all too often what can happen. Divorce gets easier the more you do it. And remember, you don’t have to get married to prove your love.

The bottom line: enjoy life, live it to the fullest, just don’t marry the young one, because you will get older one day….

Until the next celeb gets divorced,

GET SELFISH! BE SELFISH! CHEERS!

Christia Sale

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

PS: Let me know what you think of this whole situation. Leave me a comment.

Also, don’t forget to check out my radio talk show here: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1990/the-most-selfish-woman-in-america

It was a logical progression, I guess. With the world being driven by the internet and social media, it makes sense that dating would be no different.

But if you have been out of the loop, as I have, chances are  you don’t quite know where and how to start.

So, we tried to come up with a general game plan for how to embark on this new adventure in dating for the most efficient and effective experience. And if you are as busy as I am, that is how you want it to be.

John Martinuk, with Millionairematch.com, and Robin Salzillo Campbell, a freelance writer who, in researching for an article, found love on John’s site, provide insight and words of wisdom for our quest.

A little on Millionairematch.com. The site’s statistics of users: 32% between 18-30 years of age, 45.5% of users are men, 54.5% are women, 33% are in 45-60 age range, 10-14% are verified millionaires, and 14% of members are verified as opposed to 86% unverified.

Robin Salzillo Campbell has been recently divorce, but had no interest in doing the bar scene to meet people. In her contemplating how she wanted to maneuver this new world of dating, she decided to write an article on the different options for dating after 50. Online dating was a natural choice, considering our world is so cyber and social media driven. Also, having lived in her current city for 30 years, she was interested in a site that could reach outside her part of the world.

Robin chose Millionairematch.com because it offered a wider demographic of successful minded people. It had an in depth questionnaire, provided safety features, was user friendly and catered to a higher caliber of client. She also chose it over a matchmaker because she felt that she was a good judge of character on her own. She didn’t want to be limited by the smaller client base and someone else’s opinion. Matchmakers work from their paid client base, which limits possibilities.

Here are some of the guidelines we came up with:

First you have to find the sites that you are comfortable with. Most sites let you look through there site free of charge. If not, you need to either ask friends if they have any experience on that site, or make sure that site represents the caliber of person you are interested in. John says that many people belong to multiple sites because of the different  types of people each site represents, and because it is really a numbers game. Your choice.

Also, it is good to know that many sites have a limited reach based on approximately a 250 mile range. So, you would have to set up multiple profiles if you wanted to extend the area considered. This means a profile for east coast, one for the west coast, one for your area, etc.

After picking your site/s, you have to decide if you want to be a paid member. John says that being a paid member is a more pro-active approach. Robin says that it allows you to tailor your preferences and who contacts you. She also like the ability to screen the contacts and have the safety feature of blocking.

Next is writing a successful profile. John and Robin both agree that honesty is the most important ingredient. You don’t want to base who contacts you on a lie. You waste your time and theirs. We are looking for efficiency, remember?

Robin suggests being proactive. Reading a lot of profiles, contact people, use the site’s support features. Being proactive means interact with the site. Use it. Engage in the forums, respond to those who show interest in you. Also, the more profiles you read, the better you will get at  your own profile and can tweak it as you go.

That doesn’t mean you have to pretend that you like the people who contact you when you don’t. Always go with your gut on that. But it does mean don’t just put up your profile and be done with it. Look through the searches, add ones you like to your favorites, wink if you want. That creates more energy around you on the site and you will get better results.

John says that “add to your favorites” is like a place holder. You may have been looking through the searches and found someone interesting, but didn’t have time to pursue it right then, or might not know exactly what to do from there. Also, a wink shows interest, but is almost like not being sure if that person will like you or not. Sounds too insecure to me, but that’s me.

Robin thinks that adding someone to your favorites is a nice way of saying you are interested. If nothing happens either way in a week or two, move on to a new list of favorites.

The top things you should find out about a person to be your most efficient:

• their belief system, spirituality
• there grasp on politics, if that is important to you
• what they do for fun
• how they feel about family
• what do they see themselves doing in the next 5 years, 10 years
• where do they see themselves living out the rest of their life after they retire
• add what’s important to you here…

I have been following Dr. Jonny for years. He is so knowledgeable. He likes to call himself a research junkie, and I believe it. The information flows out of him like a fountain. He is amazing.

I had so many questions and so little time. But here is a brief rundown of what we were able to cover.

The connection Dr. Jonny and I have are our messages of mastering your health, body and personal power. Addictions are not the cause, they are symptoms. Whether it is food, drugs, alcohol or cigarettes, these are behaviors stemming form a much deeper cause that must be addressed for your success.

When you learn how to master your personal power, you can apply it to all other aspect of your life. But the symptoms can get out of hand when the source is not addressed.

Nutrition, what we put in our bodies, is the key to damage control and detoxification. It is the key to warding off aging and illness. Food is nature’s medicine.

Some of the random questions I asked were as follows:

• Q: Drinking liquid during a meal?
• A: no science to support theory
• Q: Difference between digestive enzymes and probiotics?
• A: digestive enzymes are naturally made by the body for breaking down food, but production diminishes with age; taking supplements can aid in digestion and absorption of nutrients, and prevent things like bloating or indigestion; probiotics are natural bacteria in our gut that aid in digestion and immunity; we always need to supplement your probiotics, especially when taking antibiotics; good sources are yogurt with live active cultures, olives from the olive bar, not jars, sauerkraut, kimchi, authentic soy sauce, and other fermented foods.
• Q: Foods for anti-inflammatory properties?
• A: Inflammation is the most important component of all major, degenerative disease: heart disease, obesity, Alzheimer’s, arthritis, cancers, even acne and asthma; the same foods just mentioned above are also anti-inflammatory; other foods are apples and onions for the quercetin, an herb called boswellia, and most important of all – curcumin, found in tumeric.
• Q: Supplements for anti-inflammatory properties?
• A: Omega-3 is the most anti-inflammatory molecules on the planet and comes from two sourses: Plant, which would be from flaxseed and flaxseed oil, walnuts and walnut oil, and chia seeds, called ALA, or alpha linolenic acid and fish oil, which has the DHA & EPA and comes from cold water fish like sardines, salmon, krill, mackerel, etc.
• Q: What are recommended doses of each?
• A: For the ALA, one tablespoon per 100 pounds of body weight, and for the fish oil, one gram per day
• Q: Cooking techniques for retaining nutrients in foods?
• A: The least amount of major heat as possible; steaming, sautéing, slow cooking, and soups because all the nutrients stay in the foods; some foods need cooking to break down the cell walls so the body can absorb the nutrients, i.e. broccoli, brussels sprouts, and carrots and tomatoes for certain nutrients; clearly no deep frying but if you must fry something, use fresh lard, coconut oil or other saturated fats because they do not become damaged or mutate at hight heat, causing carcinogens in the foods
• Q: The importance of detoxing the liver?
• A: Your liver is detox central, and can be detoxed itself by eating clean foods and supporting the liver with herbs and supplements
• Q: What is the first step?
• A: Stop overloading your system with toxins, give your liver time to filter through what you already have in there; eat clean, grilled proteins, steamed veggies, broths and take curumin, milk thistle, alpha lipoic acid and selenium, which is Dr. Jonny’s liver protocal
• Q: How often does this need to be done?
• A: It should be a lifestyle, but some people do it seasonally, four times a year for an extra boost, because your body is bombarded with 80,000 chemicals and your liver wasn’t made to handle the overload that it gets exposed to.
• Q: With the holidays upon us, does the celebratory glass of wine derail our efforts to keep our blood sugar levels steady?
• A: There are not many active carbs in red wine so it is not a blood sugar issue.
• Q: Is resveratrol an important antioxidant?
• A: Absolutely! It is one of his seven go-to supplements; great for anti-aging; recommended dose 250 mg. of trans-resveratrol, which is the only part of resveratrol that is absorbed.
• Q: What is the best way of getting calcium in your diet if you don’t do dairy?
• A: Most cultures don’t do dairy and have less osteoporosis than Americans; sardines, nuts, green leafy vegetables along with the supportive minerals for absorbtion, i.e. vitamin-D, magnesium, and phosphorus.
• Q: Why do you say that exercising is not the most important component for loosing weight?
• A: Because your food choices dictate 80% of your success in weight loss and maintenance; exercise is very important for anti-aging, health and lower risk of disease.

Queen of Your Own Life and The Most Selfish Woman in America are soul sisters in the literary world. These books share the message of empowerment and encouragement with a dose of humor on the side. Cindy, along with her best friend of 30 years Kathy Kinney, wrote Queen of Your Own Life as their call to action for grown up women everywhere to celebrate the second half of their life!

Our messages are so similar because women are more alike than different. We all share some of the same issues, no matter what our history or where we are in our journey in life. Cindy, having been a corporate executive, and I, having been a stay home Mom for 20 years, still face the same issues of any women in mid-life: self doubt, anxiety of getting older, questioning our self-worth.

This is a time in our life when our friendships are so important and need to be nurtured. Our friends can remind us of our gifts, talents and experiences that we loose sight of in times of stress. Which is what happened when one day Cindy lost her job to the downturn of the economy. Her supportive friend Kathy reminded her that the only thing that had changed from the day before is that Cindy had lost her job. Cindy was still the intelligent, fabulous, vibrant woman she was when she was yesterday when she was employed. She had not dumbed down overnight.

So the “Crowning Ceremony” was born. Cindy and Kathy started encouraging women to look in a mirror, admire themselves, and declare
that they would be the Queen of Their Own Lives! And part of this ceremony includes asking yourself two questions: 1) What has worked for you so far in your life that you want to take forward with you into this new phase, and 2) What do you want to leave behind that no longer works for you.

It is easier to come up with a nice long list for question #2, but more challenging to come up with a list for question #1. The problem being that we are less comfortable speaking highly of ourselves, possibly due to the way we were raised. Good girls don’t brag – that is arrogant and egotistical.

Well Ladies, stop thinking that way! Stop that right now!

It is time for you to get comfortable admiring yourself. Give yourself credit for the gifts you have been given. Appreciate how lucky you are to have gotten this far, with all the wisdoms, knowledge and insight that makes you who  you are today. This is why the “Crowning Ceremony” is so important. It allows you to say outloud what you like about yourself. Get comfortable with it!

We also talked about the power of words and the importance of friends who use words to remind us of our gifts. This helps us adjust to the changes that come into our lives. And with those changes comes choice – the choice of how you are going to respond to that change. We can’t control what other people do, or how things happen, but we can control how we choose to respond.

Bad things happen to good people. Bad things happen to everybody. But it’s how you choose to respond that dictates the outcome. You can choose to whine and pout, perpetuating the negative, OR you can choose to respond in a positive way and make the best of the situation.

Cindy shared her travel adventure that took a nosedive, but she was able to salvage by the way she chose to respond to the situation. Instead of being mad as hell, she chose to be the light and delight for herself and everyone around her. Not only did she prevent an ulcer, she met some very interesting people and enjoyed herself in the meantime.

You have to be aware of the exponential effect you have on everyone whose life you touch. We have to BE what we want to SEE in others. We have to be the change that we want to see.

In the book, Cindy and Kathy offer the 7 best gifts that a woman can give herself and here they are:

• Claim their beauty and feel their power
• Clean their mental closet and find their Queen voice
• Admire themselves for who they have become
• Build deep, fulfilling friendships with other women
• Establish firm boundaries that will strengthen all their relationships
• Learn the simple trick to finally being happy
• Place the crown firmly on their heads