I used to feel that if everything in my world didn’t turn out perfectly, it was due to my not trying hard enough. Can you say “Control Freak!” Now honestly, who can live up to those standards all the time? NO ONE!
And as soon as I accepted that reality, to relinquish control, I was completely liberated! It’s amazing! Life is so much easier now.
Relinquishing control doesn’t only include controlling the outcome of everything, it also includes feeling the need to be apart of everything. I only do what I want to do now. If it’s fundraising, it’s because I want to. If it’s donating my time to a project, it’s because I want to. And I don’t mind taking the lead, if I can do it my way. Otherwise, I’m busy.
The days of solving everyone else’s problems are over. I only offer advice or my opinion when asked, or when I just can’t help myself. I don’t participate unless I really want to. As for causes I don’t feel strongly about: instead of taking over when I see deficiencies, which is often, I just back away slowly as to not attract attention. Or I run, run like a wild Ubangi! I also don’t belong to committees anymore. Ugh! There’s too much “discussing” and not enough “doing.” I’d rather just have my nails pulled out one by one! OR just not participate, preferably the latter.
I don’t know why I use to take things so personally. Unhappy in my life, I guess. Basically, “If anyone can fix it, it’s me!” Whether self imposed or not, “I must not be trying hard enough to make it work.” I felt like I had failed if I couldn’t “fix it”. How ridiculous is that?
But I don’t want to live that way anymore. I want to enjoy everything I do. Life is too short for me to try to fix other people. I have my hands full with my own self.
I highly recommend releasing the world to the powers that be. Contribute to the causes you feel strongly about. Participate in situations where you feel you will make a difference. And let the rest go. Don’t accept all the offers presented to you. You know you don’t want to do all of them anyway. Be selective in how you spend your time.
You will more effective if you are more selective.
Happy Living!
Christia Sale
The Most Selfish Woman in America!
