The dating world has grown with the times. It has gone from the simple meeting someone in the grocery store, to meeting online.
It was a logical progression, I guess. With the world being driven by the internet and social media, it makes sense that dating would be no different.
But if you have been out of the loop, as I have, chances are you don’t quite know where and how to start.
So, we tried to come up with a general game plan for how to embark on this new adventure in dating for the most efficient and effective experience. And if you are as busy as I am, that is how you want it to be.
John Martinuk, with Millionairematch.com, and Robin Salzillo Campbell, a freelance writer who, in researching for an article, found love on John’s site, provide insight and words of wisdom for our quest.
A little on Millionairematch.com. The site’s statistics of users: 32% between 18-30 years of age, 45.5% of users are men, 54.5% are women, 33% are in 45-60 age range, 10-14% are verified millionaires, and 14% of members are verified as opposed to 86% unverified.
Robin Salzillo Campbell has been recently divorce, but had no interest in doing the bar scene to meet people. In her contemplating how she wanted to maneuver this new world of dating, she decided to write an article on the different options for dating after 50. Online dating was a natural choice, considering our world is so cyber and social media driven. Also, having lived in her current city for 30 years, she was interested in a site that could reach outside her part of the world.
Robin chose Millionairematch.com because it offered a wider demographic of successful minded people. It had an in depth questionnaire, provided safety features, was user friendly and catered to a higher caliber of client. She also chose it over a matchmaker because she felt that she was a good judge of character on her own. She didn’t want to be limited by the smaller client base and someone else’s opinion. Matchmakers work from their paid client base, which limits possibilities.
Here are some of the guidelines we came up with:
First you have to find the sites that you are comfortable with. Most sites let you look through there site free of charge. If not, you need to either ask friends if they have any experience on that site, or make sure that site represents the caliber of person you are interested in. John says that many people belong to multiple sites because of the different types of people each site represents, and because it is really a numbers game. Your choice.
Also, it is good to know that many sites have a limited reach based on approximately a 250 mile range. So, you would have to set up multiple profiles if you wanted to extend the area considered. This means a profile for east coast, one for the west coast, one for your area, etc.
After picking your site/s, you have to decide if you want to be a paid member. John says that being a paid member is a more pro-active approach. Robin says that it allows you to tailor your preferences and who contacts you. She also like the ability to screen the contacts and have the safety feature of blocking.
Next is writing a successful profile. John and Robin both agree that honesty is the most important ingredient. You don’t want to base who contacts you on a lie. You waste your time and theirs. We are looking for efficiency, remember?
Robin suggests being proactive. Reading a lot of profiles, contact people, use the site’s support features. Being proactive means interact with the site. Use it. Engage in the forums, respond to those who show interest in you. Also, the more profiles you read, the better you will get at your own profile and can tweak it as you go.
That doesn’t mean you have to pretend that you like the people who contact you when you don’t. Always go with your gut on that. But it does mean don’t just put up your profile and be done with it. Look through the searches, add ones you like to your favorites, wink if you want. That creates more energy around you on the site and you will get better results.
John says that “add to your favorites” is like a place holder. You may have been looking through the searches and found someone interesting, but didn’t have time to pursue it right then, or might not know exactly what to do from there. Also, a wink shows interest, but is almost like not being sure if that person will like you or not. Sounds too insecure to me, but that’s me.
Robin thinks that adding someone to your favorites is a nice way of saying you are interested. If nothing happens either way in a week or two, move on to a new list of favorites.
The top things you should find out about a person to be your most efficient:
- their belief system, spirituality
- there grasp on politics, if that is important to you
- what they do for fun
- how they feel about family
- what do they see themselves doing in the next 5 years, 10 years
- where do they see themselves living out the rest of their life after they retire
- add what’s important to you here…
I won’t recommend spending too much time exchanging correspondence and dating online. If your guts say it’s a right person – meet offline. and then make decision re further relationships.