How Divorced Women Achieve Their Goals

This last year put me into a tail spin. I’ve had more change in that one year than ever before. Stop already!

I feel like I’m flapping parallel to the ground, holding on to a flimsy flag poll. I need to catch my breath.

What ever happened to moderation? You know, things in small, manageable pieces? I need another vacation!

Now is when I have to remind myself that “this too will pass.” My new mantra.

Now is when I need to be faithful with my affirmation, my positive reinforcing statements of gratefulness. My frame of mind seems to change for the better when I do my affirmations.

For example: “Thank you God for my health, thank you for my discipline, and thank you God for my courage, conviction and determination.”

Or: “Thank you God for my health, thank you for my discipline, and thank you God for my determination, success and happiness.”

The idea of affirmations is that the first statement is being thankful for something you have already accomplished. The second statement is being thankful for something you are currently working on. The third statement is being thankful for 3 things you want to accomplish.

Again, this needs some soul searching. Be honest with your choices. No one has to know. But the power of affirmations is documented, and well worth the exercise. The act of reinforcing your goals is a constant reminder of what you want to accomplish. It seeds the goals into your subconscious, where they are worked on behind the scenes. The more you open yourself up to accomplishment, the sooner it will happen.

Recite your affirmations in the morning before you get out of bed, sometime midday when you can focus on them, and at night before you go to sleep. These statements need to be the first thing on your mind in the morning, and the last thing on your mind at night.

Think of it, focus on it, and make it happen!

Happy Living!


The Most Selfish Woman in America!

How Women Find Their Passion in Life

When I think about living my passion, I think about how lucky I am to have another chance to do just that.  And how important it is not to let this opportunity be wasted.

It takes introspection to tap into what that passion looks like. It takes being true to yourself, and not worrying about what other people think you should do.

What I’ve discovered is that my passion is not conventional. It’s not the normal 9-5, working in a cubical job. But that’s also how I know I’m on the right track. I’m not a conventional, 9-5 person, by any stretch of the imagination.

Another way to know that I’m on the right track is that my passion reflects what I’ve been interested in, and have been doing in my life for years. My researching nutrition, supplements, exercise and attitude all this time was an indication that I have a true love for that knowledge. I’ve been sharing it with family and friends all along the way, with a passion I might add.

You may not have had the time to indulge in your passions in your old life. Good news flash: now you do!

Serious soul searching is required here. And don’t edit yourself, like I’ve said before. Think outside the box.

Ask yourself what would make you bound out of bed every morning? What would make you feel like you were contributing to the world?  What would make you glad to be alive?

Now keep a journal of your ideas. Find the common thread. Again, no editing.

How do you feel about that thread? Does it excite you? Give you that chill you’ve been missing? Bring a smile to your face? That is your goal.

Now that I can actually make my passion into a career and lifestyle, the possibilities are endless. And the reality of that is thrilling! But also a little overwhelming. That’s where courage, and a goal plan come in. More on that later.

There aren’t many second chances in life. And we are lucky when we get them. That’s why it is so important to make the most of the opportunity when it comes along.

It is your turn to make the decision on what you are going to do with the rest of your life.

It is time to live your Passion.

It’s time to live your Purpose.

It’s time to live ON PURPOSE.

Happy Living!


The Most Selfish Woman in America!

How Divorced Women Become Their Own Worst Enemy

Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. It’s true!

We get all motivated to make a big change in our life, but we seem to hit a wall just when we think we can’t fail.

Usually that wall is You! When we visualize making big changes in our lives, we forget to change everything else in our daily routine that would sabotage our success. Habits that we have acquired over the years that seem harmless. Watching TV (even if it’s CNBC), shopping, running errands – insert your habit here.

A New Life requires new habits. Obviously your old habits didn’t encourage change before. So you have to change those old habits.

Start spending your time on activities that help you accomplish your Big Change. Focus. Research. Visualize. Reinforce.

Most big changes in life require new skills. Work on them. New habits. Work on them. New mind set. Work on it.

See it!  Live it!  Be it!

Don’t stand in your own way. The rest of the world will be glad to do that for you.

Use the CPR Approach – Consistence, Persistence and Resistance! It is in your control. Like Jeff Herring says, “be consistent in your actions, persistent in your drive and resistant to set backs and all those who may tell you that you can’t do it.”

Just make sure that with this new change in life, you create new productive habits to support it.

Happy Living!


The Most Selfish Woman in America!

How Divorced Women Survive Change

Once change starts…things are never the same again.

It never fails, once changed has been initiated, your world is altered forever.

No matter how much you fight it, or try to explain it away, the reality is that it will never go back to “when it was good” or the way it was before.

We try so hard to keep things from changing in our world, especially when it is what we thought we wanted, or needed, in our life.  What we need to accept is that change happens for a reason. Somehow, someone in your world isn’t happy with the way things are. They initiate the change. And you have to deal with it.

A wisdom I’ve learned over the years is to “go with the flow.” The times I have tried to fight the inevitable, I’ve always lost. Even if I think I’ve won, things never go back to the way they were. Feelings are changed forever. Maybe not drastically, but its definitely different.

Sometimes it feel like you are getting bombarded with a lot of changes all at once. It’s exhausting! That’s when you need to get more sleep. Try to remain calm. Exercise. Breath! Do whatever you derive comfort from. It’s also important to remind yourself  what’s really important in life.

The smoother we can handle these times of transition, the sooner it will be over. Fighting prolongs the pain of change. Accepting the new conditions shortens the recovery period.

Acceptance is the key. Choose to respond in a positive way. Make the most of the situation, what ever it is. Don’t participate in the negative. This too will pass. Life will settle back down, and you will be happy again.

Happy Living!


The Most Selfish Woman in America!

How To Survive The Insanity of Divorce

Isn’t it amazing how all of the sudden you wake up one day and your whole life is changing…again?

You know, that time period between the divorce and your finally being on your own, literally?

It comes in phases.

Phase I:  the actual divorce and your ex moving out

Phase II: the recovery period, where you try to catch your breath and make sense of it all

Phase III: when you start to see the beauty of your future, and focus on achieving your Dream Life

Phase IV: when your children start moving out, for what ever reason, and you’re OK with it.

The order of the last two can interchange. But it’s amazing how fast that time passes…

None of us can completely control how this unfolds, because there are too many factors involved that you don’t have control over. Like how other people will act or react to what has happened to your family. The dynamics of that are volatile.  Depending on how hurt the feelings are of the participants dictates how rough the transition will be.

Hopefully you will have the time you need in each phase to be emotionally ready for the next one.

But the reality is that you can wake up one day and get thrown into a phase that you are not ready for.

You are going along, thinking you have a handle on the changes that your life has taken. Then all of the sudden, you get hit in the head with, yet again, another big change. Damn! How long is this going to keep happening? Enough already!

Brace yourself:  Your survival technique has to be go with the flow.The more you fight the inevitable, the harder your life becomes. And usually people fight the inevitable because they want to think they can control everything, or they don’t want to face the change.

Remember, once the change has been initiated, things will never go back to what they once were, no matter now much you fight against it, or for it.

You have to accept the fact that you can only control how you are going to respond to what happens, not what happens!

The sooner you learn this lesson, the sooner you can control the type of life you will live.

Make the conscious choice to respond positively to whatever life dishes out. You need to enjoy life on a daily basis. You never know what tomorrow will bring, especially if your recent history is any indication!

You have to break that unhappy cycle. You have to decide that you are not going to participate in the negative anymore. It’s all up to you!

Remember, it’s your turn to be happy for a change. It’s your turn to be a SELFISH WOMAN! YOU DESERVE IT!

Happy Living!


The Most Selfish Woman in America!