Enjoy Recovering from Divorce

It is important to enjoy yourself now more than ever. One way to accomplish this is to explore the activities your area has to offer.

I live in Austin where a river runs through downtown. There are rowing and kayaking businesses that offer access for everyone. If you are a novice, they will teach you. If you know how to row, you can go off on your own. They also offer events where you can start at one end of the river, and row down to the other end and watch the bats come out of the Congress Ave. bridge to fly south for the evening to feed. It’s fascinating, especially seeing it from the water. Austin has one of the largest bat populations in the nation.

So for $15 – $25 you can enjoy the peacefulness of the water, the sound of the boat gliding over the surface, or the majesty (also a little creepy) of millions of bats swirling into clouds and shooting down the river.

Something about the calmness of the water, your gliding past cliffs and trees, the resistance of the paddles against the current, puts you back in your place in this Universe. It’s symbolic of our powering our way through life, meeting the resistance we all face when working toward change.

And yet, it’s that effort that allows you to [Read more…]

How Divorced Women Survive Change

Once change starts…things are never the same again.

It never fails, once changed has been initiated, your world is altered forever.

No matter how much you fight it, or try to explain it away, the reality is that it will never go back to “when it was good” or the way it was before.

We try so hard to keep things from changing in our world, especially when it is what we thought we wanted, or needed, in our life.  What we need to accept is that change happens for a reason. Somehow, someone in your world isn’t happy with the way things are. They initiate the change. And you have to deal with it.

A wisdom I’ve learned over the years is to “go with the flow.” The times I have tried to fight the inevitable, I’ve always lost. Even if I think I’ve won, things never go back to the way they were. Feelings are changed forever. Maybe not drastically, but its definitely different.

Sometimes it feel like you are getting bombarded with a lot of changes all at once. It’s exhausting! That’s when you need to get more sleep. Try to remain calm. Exercise. Breath! Do whatever you derive comfort from. It’s also important to remind yourself  what’s really important in life.

The smoother we can handle these times of transition, the sooner it will be over. Fighting prolongs the pain of change. Accepting the new conditions shortens the recovery period.

Acceptance is the key. Choose to respond in a positive way. Make the most of the situation, what ever it is. Don’t participate in the negative. This too will pass. Life will settle back down, and you will be happy again.

Happy Living!


The Most Selfish Woman in America!

Divorced Women’s Power Walk – Exercise Your Mind and Body

This is another time for you to be SELFISH.

When you exercise, it is all about YOU, no one else. No cell phones, no business, no diverting your focus.

If you must multi-task, do it in your breathing, your awareness and your enjoyment.

A few tips before you start:

1.  Get music on your i-Pod that has the same beat of the speed that you want to walk. That makes it easier to stay at a consistent pace without too much thought. Always have the volume low enough that you can hear what is going on around you. You are empowered and in control now, act like it!

2.  The better your breathing, the easier, and longer you can exercise. Breathe in through your nose, and out your mouth. Breathe in for the count of 5 and out for the count of 3. In through your nose for 5, and out through your mouth for 3. Even when you get winded, stay in control of your breathing. In 5, out 3. Controlled breathing will help keep you from panting, and help keep your heart rate at a safe level. If you can’t maintain this breathing pattern, slow down!

3.  Use a heart rate monitor. Just go buy one, and use it each time. The monitor will keep you informed of how efficiently you are working out. You want to stay within a “fat burning” zone.  The optimal zone will be between 130 to 145 beats per minute. The monitor tells you what your heart rate is, based on your physique . If you get higher than 145, slow down. If you are interval training, you can go as hard as you can for about a minute, then slow back down for 5 minutes until your heart rate gets back down to 130, then go again. As far as length of time, your goal is 45 minutes, 4 to 5 times a week.

4.  If the temperature is 85 degrees or hotter, take water with you. Don’t run the risk of getting overheated. It’s not worth it! Also be relentless with the sunscreen. From the base of the neck up, use at least 45 spf zinc oxide sunscreen. SkinCeuticals has a good one. And a hat or visor is a must.

If you will power walk, instead of run, you will get all of the cardio benefits without the wear and tear on your body. Hugely important.

Drink water! Drink water! Drink water! Stay hydrated.

When you are walking, make sure you know what is going on around you. Safety is the key! Take your dog, if you have one. Also choose a route that is aesthetically pleasing. A neighborhood with big houses, a local park with lots of trees and shade. Whatever you have access to, make sure you don’t get bored visually. This will increase your enjoyment.

Try to tighten your abdominal muscles while you walk. It will take awhile to do it automatically, but the more you tighten your stomach muscles, the firmer your torso will become. Also, bend your arms at the elbow and pump them with each step. You will burn more calories this way.

If your lower back starts hurting, it may be because your hamstrings need to be stretched out. After the first 5 to 10 minutes of your walk, stop and stretch your calf muscles by putting the ball of your feet on the top of a curb, and lower your heels down to the street level. It’s easier to do this leaning on a mail box or light poll. Give the stretch 1 to 2 minutes, and don’t bounce.

Then with your knees slightly bent, lean over to touch the ground. Let your body hold that position for at least a minute to stretch the hamstrings. Again, no bouncing. Then get back to the rest of your power walk.

At the end of your walk, give yourself the last 5 minutes to cool down. Slow down your pace, so that your body can naturally cool down without completely stopping.

Use this exercise time with yourself, for yourself. Do your affirmations, work out your current problems, reinforce your new attitude and approach to life. What you focus on expands. Use this time to focus on the NEW YOU.

With every step you take, you are reinforcing your new direction in Life. See it!  Live it!  Be it!

Happy Living!


The Most Selfish Woman in America!

INTAKE ALERT – How Divorced Women Eat And Exercise for Change

OK, reality check:


Even living in a “Big Babe World”, we have to be healthy, confident and the best we can be!

Now is the time for an Intake Alert! Time to be aware of what you put in your mouth, and how many calories you burn in a day.

If you’ve been indulging yourself in the celebration of Summer’s arrival, like I have been, it’s time to get back in control. And if you need to undo the “indulgence”, let’s get started .

For at least 2 weeks, cut out all alcohol, artificial sugar, breads, and processed foods.  NO, WAIT!  Don’t leave me now!

If you will give yourself 2 weeks on Intake Alert, you will be shocked how effective it is.

You will loose that bloated, swollen feeling. You will brighten up your skin. Your clothes will start fitting again. I’m Serious!

And  you won’t have to pay anyone anything! It’s all in your control, and your budget.

Here is your goal:  All fresh fruits, veggies, and clean, lean protein. Lots of water, some green tea and coffee, no processed fruit juices.  No dairy other than a small yogurt a day.  Preferably everything organic.

My clean proteins of choice are ground turkey breast, boneless, skinless, totally trimmed chicken breast, lean, grass fed beef, fish and protein from beans. Then all the veggies you want, cooked or raw. Extra virgin olive oil is a great cooking medium. And fresh fruit. I know it has sugar, but it is natural, and has so many antioxidants, it is vital for your health.

In my upcoming book, THE MOST SELFISH WOMAN IN AMERICA, I will go into detail about clean and lean eating, including benefits, recipes, and easy techniques for gourmet cooking. Life and food should be enjoyed!

Again, your goal is all natural, not “diet” anything. Clean, lean, organic, fresh.

Diabetics have to adapt the Intake Alert to their specific restrictions.

A little planning will make the 2 weeks easy to stick to. Every few days prep your veggies. Cut them into snack size pieces and put them in a ziploc bag. That way you always have something ready to snack on. This also makes cooking veggies easier because the prep part is already done. Also brown your ground turkey so it’s ready to use how ever you choose. Same with the chicken breasts. Just cook enough for a couple of days, then change up the protein you cook, to prevent boredom.

Summer is the perfect time for  an Intake Alert because the berries and cherries are in season. No mess or fuss. Just rinse and eat. I love that! And the melons – fabulous! Heaven! Fruit – God’s gift to Big Babes! (I think I’m adopting that title, Big Babe.)

There is not a fat person alive that eats like this. Look around! People who eat like this are vibrant, bright-eyed, strong and healthy. They can’t help it!

Now for the Exercise part of Intake Alert. Make a point to power (or just briskly) walk at least 30 minutes a day, 4-5 times per week. Lift  weights for upper body  3 times per week.

Focus on shoulders, biceps, and triceps, keeping your core muscles tight. Proper technique is important to prevent injury, so either look it up, or get personal instruction. You only have to get trained once, take notes, and repeat at home. Takes notes, though, if you aren’t going to use a personal trainer more than once. You need to reproduce proper technique to be the most effective at home. In my upcoming book, THE MOST SELFISH WOMAN IN AMERICA, I will go into detail about weight lifting techniques for your home workouts.

This exercise routine is great for everyday life, not just this 2 week focus period. You can make a huge difference in your strength and health if you adopt this exercise program to your Dream Life that we are working toward. Again, check out my upcoming book for your Dream Life focus.

If you will commit to 2 weeks on Intake Alert, you will be sold! Just shaking up you intake, and output, will get your body back into balance.

If you have any questions, leave me a comment. I will answer.

Happy Living!


The Most Selfish Woman in America!

How To Live In The “Big Babe World”

One of my favorite sports commentators is Mary Carillo. She describes the world of women’s tennis as “Big Babe Tennis.” I love that!

Here is my hommage to that description:

I choose to live in the “Big Babe World.”

I will never be that skinny, gaunt woman in the room, who is too worried about how she looks to other people (not to mention grumpy from hunger). Or who is too self-conscious to voice her opinions, and enjoy her life.

I will be the healthy, happy woman in the room, who is commanding attention, and glowing with confidence.

We have to start working with what Mother Nature gave us, and stop thinking we have to be something we are not.

Exercising, being active, enjoying your life, and living in the “Big Babe World” is a conscious decision. Make it!

One aspect of living in the “Big Babe World” is making the most of our physical self. Not striving for the unrealistic image projected by the media. It’s being the best our body can be.

This is where exercise comes in. It just takes discipline, which you are needing in other parts of your life right now, anyway. If you can master self-discipline here, you can apply it to all other areas of your life.

Think about it this way:  You will be taking control of your body and health, just like you are taking control of your life and your happiness.

The results will be confidence and pride, not to mention a sexier, healthier, happier You! And we haven’t even talked about the endorphins you get. How great it that?

Also, increase your basic daily activity level. Go out as often as possible. And I don’t mean cruising. I mean taking the dog for a walk, going to see live music in the park, enjoying different festivals in your town. What ever form it takes, explore where you live. You will be increasing your daily caloric use, and having fun at the same time.

The more you get out and do new things, the more active your life is, and the more you expose yourself to new experiences and new people.

This is one of our goals.

Another aspect of living in the “Big Babe World” is living large in your personality.

Being the dynamic personality that you have inside, you just haven’t always had the confidence to let it shine.

This is another one of our goals.

We are going to work on that….. aren’t we?

Happy Living!


The Most Selfish Woman in America!