It was fantastic! I love it! Great fun!

I want to share the experience with you, so I am providing you with a brief rundown of what was on the show.

My guest was Laura Fenamore, founder of www.OnePinky.com. Laura is a woman with an amazing story, and has turned her life experience into a mission to guide women to love what they see in the mirror. Her popular Body Image Mastery program helps women lose weight, reclaim their self-esteem, and start living bold, happy lives.

Laura’s having overcome her own battle with addiction, obesity, and eating disorders, she released 100 pounds 24 years ago and began a journey of guiding other women to live more joyous, balanced lives.

We talked about:

* Taking responsibility for your own happiness and your future, no longer being a victim; taking control of your health and your body

* How fear is a crippler – it can stop people from making major change in their marriages, their jobs, with their bodies, and how fear is self-imposed

* You have to release the old, negative tapes from your past and make new, positive ones though your thoughts and environmental input

-Being around positive people, not negative ones, which is sometimes challenging

-Saying positive things about yourself, not self-deprecating things

-Exposing yourself to motivational and inspirational input, not negative media sensationalism

* How society perceives over weight people, especially the way the media tells us that we are not good enough if we are not bone thin, and others buy into that thinking, perpetuating the madness

* The importance of acknowledging that feelings are self-imposed; no one can make you feel anything; only you can accept those feeling that you are going to feel, and once you realize that, you become empowered and in control of your happiness.

* Participating in the negative perpetuates the negative, and that is what you are trying to get away from. Don’t participate!

Laura also covered some tips for surviving the holidays and staying in control. Consider what your goal is for the party. Is it a culinary experience or a social experience? Will you feel guilty for what you ate, or happy with the people you interacted with? Are you going to be a victim of the “food pushers”, or “drink pushers” for that matter, or are you going to say no thanks and just enjoy being there. You don’t need food to enjoy yourself!

So there are a few of the things we discussed yesterday. And if you would like to hear the show in it’s entirety, log on to http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/56900/the-new-you-with-laura-fenamore and click on “listen now.”

And don’t forget to go to www.OnePinky.com and check out what Laura’s successful programs are all about, and how you can change your life forever!

Join me next week when I chat with Cindy Ratzlaff, co-author of Queen of Your Own Life, which she wrote with actress and comedian Kathy Kinney. Their message is an empowering and humorous approach to life.

Tune in next week! It will be fun!

Until then,

Get Selfish – Be Selfish!

Christia Sale

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

P.S. Let me know what you think about the show topic. And I am always interested in what you want to hear discussed on the show. Just leave me a comment and we will chat.

Cheers!

Being the control freaks/problem solvers we are, we think we could or should have been able to prevent this stab in the heart, whatever form it takes. We over analyze the signs we should have seen, or how we could have planned ahead to avoid the dreaded outcome.

Reality is we can’t! No matter how hard we try to control everything in our world to keep negative things from happening, they still do. As long as other people are involved in the equation, you do not have the ultimate control. All of their “baggage” can’t help but seep into their interaction with other people, and there you are, effected by other peoples’ “stuff.” They’ve had a whole other life happen long before you were exposed to them, and you don’t know where they’ve been!

The sooner you face this, the happier your life will be. The sooner you embrace the idea of going with the flow, the healthier and less stressful your existence will be. All you can control is how you choose to respond to what happen to you. That is in your control.

You can choose to respond with a positive attitude, and make sure things turn out in the best way possible, or you can wallow in self pity, pout… still not changing anything… and prolong the misery. Your Choice!

There is an instant freedom in this reality. Once you accept the fact that you are not responsible for what happens to everything and everyone in your life, you think about things differently. Your creative juices flow free and clear again. You don’t take everything so personally. Your ability to choose a positive response becomes much easier. You don’t have the burden of the world on your shoulders anymore. You get back in emotional balance. You are able to enjoy life again.

And isn’t that what life should be about?

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

You know, that time period between the divorce and your finally being on your own, literally?

It comes in phases.

Phase I:  the actual divorce and your ex moving out

Phase II: the recovery period, where you try to catch your breath and make sense of it all

Phase III: when you start to see the beauty of your future, and focus on achieving your Dream Life

Phase IV: when your children start moving out, for what ever reason, and you’re OK with it.

The order of the last two can interchange. But it’s amazing how fast that time passes…

None of us can completely control how this unfolds, because there are too many factors involved that you don’t have control over. Like how other people will act or react to what has happened to your family. The dynamics of that are volatile.  Depending on how hurt the feelings are of the participants dictates how rough the transition will be.

Hopefully you will have the time you need in each phase to be emotionally ready for the next one.

But the reality is that you can wake up one day and get thrown into a phase that you are not ready for.

You are going along, thinking you have a handle on the changes that your life has taken. Then all of the sudden, you get hit in the head with, yet again, another big change. Damn! How long is this going to keep happening? Enough already!

Brace yourself:  Your survival technique has to be go with the flow.The more you fight the inevitable, the harder your life becomes. And usually people fight the inevitable because they want to think they can control everything, or they don’t want to face the change.

Remember, once the change has been initiated, things will never go back to what they once were, no matter now much you fight against it, or for it.

You have to accept the fact that you can only control how you are going to respond to what happens, not what happens!

The sooner you learn this lesson, the sooner you can control the type of life you will live.

Make the conscious choice to respond positively to whatever life dishes out. You need to enjoy life on a daily basis. You never know what tomorrow will bring, especially if your recent history is any indication!

You have to break that unhappy cycle. You have to decide that you are not going to participate in the negative anymore. It’s all up to you!

Remember, it’s your turn to be happy for a change. It’s your turn to be a SELFISH WOMAN! YOU DESERVE IT!

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

In T. Harv Eker’s book Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, he talks about the Law of Intention. When you focus on an idea, or goal, forces in the universe will fall into place to bring about that which you are focusing on. Your subconscious will go to work making your goal your reality.  I’ve heard this concept in many forms from many sources. It’s like planting a seed in your subconscious and letting it be nourished by your thoughts and actions.

So in turn, the more you focus on your Dream Life, the more positive energy you feed that dream to grow into your reality.

This is a huge concept. It proves the power of the mind. The catch is that you have to have the discipline to maintain a positive flow of energy toward the goal you desire.

Since our goal is to achieve the Dream Life you have always wanted, this should be your main focus.

Get a cork board, index cards, and a bold colored marker. On the index cards, write power words that motivate you, and pin them on your board. Put the board in the most visible place in your house.

You know the words I’m talking about…Powerful, Dynamic, Successful, Motivated, Vivacious, Vibrant, Wealthy, Happy, Peaceful.

Whatever the words are that describe the characteristics you want to possess belong on the board. And put it in the room you spend the most time in. I know…get 2 boards, and put one where you put on your makeup, and the other one where you spend the most time.

The more you look at these words, the more you think about these words, the more power they will have. The more you focus on these characteristics, the sooner you will develop them. Remember, what you focus on expands.

This concept works in all aspects of your life. The power of it is unlimited. The only limit is you.

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

You know, one of those moments that takes your breath away… and you don’t even need a man around! That’s what I’m talking about.

One of those “Oh my God, I can’t believe I’m about to do this” moments. One of those “take your breath away” moments.

We are taking a moment here to clear up all thoughts and jokes I hear faintly in the background before we go on…  yes, I still like men.

What does that activity look like for you? What have you always dreamed of doing, but it wasn’t “convenient”… or easy to accomplish… or it’s a little too scary to really do?

Jump out of a plane, white water raft, fly through the air on a flying trapeze, climb a mountain…ok, maybe just buy that first thong (the underwear kind), and let yourself flirt wildly. Even if no one sees it, you’ll know it’s there.

Dance with total abandon, as if no one is watching. Wear the highest heals you have (or buy some) and walk down the most “happenin’” street in your town, with a serious attitude.

What ever it looks like… decide what it is… and without too much thought… do it! You are in need of some excitement! Out of the ordinary excitement!

The kind of “I’m not sure I want anyone else to know” excitement. “But I did it! And it was just for me! Because It’s My Turn!”

This is not the “abandon all morals” thrill. This is the “I can’t believe I had the courage to do it” thrill.

Remember, It’s Your Turn Now! It’s all about You! You deserve it!

Welcome to Your New World!

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

PS: Soon I will let you know what “SELFISH” really means…

Time to start thinking of Yourself first for a change. Time to stop putting Yourself on the back burner. Time to take control of Your future!

You know who you are…the newly divorced, mid life woman who has been serving everyone else in her world but herself. Your kids are either sprouting wings and flying the coop, or just about to. You have either been a stay home Mom, or juggling being a Mom and working for the almighty dollar.

And chances are you don’t even like your job anymore. It’s not what you always dreamed you would be doing. And it’s safe to say your Life didn’t turn out the way you imagined… well, never fear! I’m here to help!

Now… I’m thinking you’ve lost about 200 lbs. recently…in the form of a man, am I right? You are reevaluating your life, and wondering how you ever got here in the first place. Well, I’m with you, Sister!

But don’t worry, I’m here to teach you how to become a Selfish Woman. A Woman who chooses to be a happy, positive and dynamic force, because she is worth it! Not a sad, vengeful, and bitter person. We don’t need any more of those in the world.

I will help you become the vibrant, powerful and successful person you were meant to be. The real you that just got lost in that “old life”  you are now breaking free from.

Think about it this way:  Your divorce is the best thing that ever happened to You!

Really! Whatever the reason, the reality is that it happened. And for it to have happened, you were no longer being treated or respected the way you deserve. Period. It doesn’t matter if it was fair, right, wrong, whatever. The fact is that your relationship would have never gone back to the way it was in the “good days”. He will never change, and you can’t make him. It doesn’t work that way.

Now, to be clear, there are two types of women in this situation:  the one who tried to keep the marriage together for whatever reason, i.e. kids, love, etc., and the one who caused the divorce in the first place.  This blog is for the former. The latter can go on with her day. Bubye!

Now, back to what we are here for. This will be a journey for all of us. But this will be one of the best jouneys you’ve ever had. The outcome will be a more powerful, successful, vivacious You, who chooses to be happy, positive, and enjoy Life.

Happy Living!

Christia Sale

The Most Selfish Woman In America!