Women Changing From Parenthood to Singlehood After Divorce

Let me start by saying that when women have gotten divorced, their children fill an important need – the need to be needed.

Today, when talking to my son about how he wanted to celebrate his birthday, I realized that he, and I, had officially changed from one phase of life to another. He was turning 18 years old, and I realized that he was not as easily entertained as he used to be.

Where I used to take the kids to the grocery store to buy their favorite foods on their birthday (because I am strict about what they eat at home), now it isn’t “special” anymore. Where I used to take them to their favorite place to eat or favorite thing to do, now it doesn’t have the appeal it once had.

So, there we are… talking about how different life is now. How he has already started his journey of finding himself, and I can’t participate anymore. I can be there in the background, emotionally and financially supporting him, but am no longer involved in his daily decision making about his future. He has started down his own path of self-awareness.

One of the hardest lessons to learn in parenting is when to stop parenting.

The reality of that hit me directly in the heart! Right between my need to nurture and my [Read more…]