Divorced Women – Stop Holding a Grudge!

Hi everybody! I hope you had a fabulous 4th of July, and that you all survived the festivities.

This week I want to remind you of the importance of releasing the past and the power it can have over you.

Click play for a quick reminder of how to recognize if you are still hanging on, and how to stop it.

 

Here is the transcript for those who like to read:

Hi! It Christia Sale, the Selfish Woman!

Ok – you are finally free from the ugly marriage you were in.

You have released yourself from the physical obligation… from the legal obligations.

But have you released yourself from the emotional obligations?

Forgiven yourself for your part in it and released it to the Universe?

Good question. And it deserves an honest answer – from YOU.

Can you honestly say that you have let go of your resentment for the way you were treated in this whole thing?

Do you really feel like you have made peace with the past and your part in it?

It’s time to Stop Holding A Grudge!

It’s time to release the past and the power it has over you.

As long as you breathe life into that old story by retelling it and talking about it, the longer it will have power over you. And the only one that suffers is you.

And when I say power, I mean the effect it has on your emotions. How talking about that time in your life can bring back those painful feelings that you so desperately want to escape from.

But how can you escape from them if you continue to bring them back into your existence. And you are doing this voluntarily!

Voluntarily… as in self-imposed!  Stop that!

“You don’t drown by falling in water. You drown by staying there.”

Yes, you have to mourn the loss of the “dream” of a happy marriage. It is part of the healing process and it is healthy. But continuing to use that story as an excuse why you are not happy now is a cop-out.

You are basically wallowing in the past and letting it define you.

Your divorce does not define you – YOU define you!

How you choose to respond to your divorce dictates how this is going to turn out for you.

As long as you continue to give your old story a lifeline, you will never get past the pain and you will forever be held back from reaching your full potential. Pull that plug now, before it turns back into a monster!

Nothing good comes from retelling that old story. But limitless possibilities can come from where you choose to go from here. It is your choice!

You have a new chance at writing your own ending, exactly how you want it to be!

Don’t waste it!

So, If this video was beneficial, hopeful, or inspiring, or if you just want to contribute to the conversation, leave me a comment below, make sure you subscribe, and share it with your friends. If you want access to more info plus extras that I can’t put on videos, go to themostselfishwomaninamerica.com & sign up for the updates.

This is Christia Sale, the Selfish Woman, saying You Deserve to be Happy and I’m here to help!

So until next time,

Happy Living!

Now it’s your turn. I want to hear from you.

Do you catch yourself talking about your old story and getting worked up all over again? Do you want to be able to stop that cycle?

Leave me a comment on your situation. We can work on it together. I’m here to help!

Cheers!

Stop Holding A Grudge!

 

Ok – you are finally free from the ugly marriage you were in. You have released yourself from the physical obligation of that marriage. You have released yourself from the legal obligation of that marriage.

But have you released yourself from the emotional obligation? Have you forgiven yourself for your part in it and released it to the Universe?

Good question. And a question that deserves an honest answer – from YOU.

You can say that you are over it all day long, but are you really?

Can you tell that old story without getting all worked up again? Can you honestly say that you have let go of your resentment for the way you were treated in this whole thing? Do you really feel like you have made peace with the past and your part in it?

It’s time to Stop Holding A Grudge! 

It’s time to release the past and the power it has over you.

As long as you breathe life into that old story by retelling it and talking about it, the longer it will have power over you. Because the only one that suffers is you! (And your kids if you have any.)

When I say “power” I mean the effect it has on your emotions; the effect it has on your decision making. And how talking about that time in your life can bring back those painful feelings that you so desperately want to escape from.

But how can you escape from those feelings if you continue to bring them back into your existence? And you are doing it to yourself! Stop it!

 

“You don’t drown by falling in water. You drown by staying there.” ~ Unknown.

 

Yes, you have to mourn the loss of the “dream” of a happy marriage. It is part of the healing process and it is healthy. But continuing to use that story as an excuse for why you are not happy now is a cop-out.

You are essentially floundering in the past and letting it define you.

Your divorce does not define you – YOU define you!

If you’ve read my book , you know that how you choose to respond to your divorce dictates how this is going to turn out. You can wallow in self-pity, not changing the circumstances and prolonging your misery, or you can choose to make the most of this new chance at happiness.

 

“Let go. Why do you cling to pain? There is nothing you can do
about the wrongs of yesterday. It is not yours to judge. Why
hold on to the very thing which keeps you from hope and love?”
~Leo Buscaglia~

 

You should be thanking your lucky stars that you have another chance at happiness! Because the first time didn’t work out so well!

As long as you continue to give your old story a lifeline, you will never get past the pain. You will forever be held back from reaching your full potential. Pull that plug sister now, before that monster comes back to life!

Remember, with life comes phases. And with each phase comes change. Consider this your next phase. You can make this next phase the best phase yet depending on how you choose to respond to your divorce.

Nothing good can come from retelling that old story. But limitless possibilities can come from releasing that past. Because it is your choice!

Stop Holding a Grudge!

You have a new chance at writing your own ending!

Don’t Waste It!

Until next time,

Happy Living!

Christia Sale

The Most SELFISH Woman in America!

Women’s Life After Divorce Expert

 

P.S. Are you still holding a grudge or are you letting go? Let me know how you are releasing your old story to make room for your new one by leaving a comment below. It may help others.

 

 


 

Who is in Your Life?

I saw a video today by Marie Forleo. She describes herself as “part business strategist, part marketing maven and part spiritual ass-kicker with a side of hip-hop swagger.”

I am sharing her with you because I love her message and her energy.

The more people you hear sharing the same message of choosing happiness, using your gifts and talents, and making this world better than it was when you got here, the more likely you are to listen.

Her video was about letting those who are in your life hold you back from accomplishing your dream life. Watch it here: http://marieforleo.com/2011/05/people-holding/.

It’s good to hear someone else say that YOU are the only one who lets other people make you feel anything. You accept those feelings they are trying to project, whether positive or negative. It’s the same as choosing to participate, or not!

You can also choose who is in your life, and who stays in your life. You have that power.

Marie and I share the phrase ” lead by example.” You have to be the change you want to see. You have to be the person you would want to interact with. If you have read my book, you know you can exponentially have a positive impact on this world by the way your choose to behave and react in every situation. And with awareness comes responsibility.

So, who is in your life? Are there people who you had a relationship with for years, in that old phase of your life, that have not traveled down your new path with you? People who could relate to you when you were miserable, but are judging your new path because it is not comfortable for them, or makes them feel envious?

The reality is that not every relationship is suppose to last forever. In fact, the only relationship that does last for ever is between you and THE BIG GUY.

People drift in and out of our lives all the time. Some stay for quite awhile and some are just passing through.

Relationships, like everything else, have phases of life. A beginning, a middle and an end. Like Marie says, to expect anything to last forever is setting yourself up for failure. And who wants that?

So if you have friends or family members who are having “trouble” with the new you and the new life you are creating for yourself, their time in your life might be coming to an end. And it’s OK. Your journeys are naturally growing in different directions.

No one’s path is going to look like yours anyway. It’s not suppose to. Your journey is as unique as you are. And sometimes you find someone who’s path is complimenting to yours and your lives are able to co-exist for quite some time.

But when connections you have had with friends or family start thinning out, don’t take it personally. Nothing is suppose to last forever, no matter what we were raised to believe.

Here’s where leading by example come in. When your paths take different directions, don’t judge that person or their path. Be understanding and accepting. Release them and let them go on their way.

The bottom line is that you have to take responsibility for who is in your life and the effect you are going to allow them to have on you.

Change the way you think about your life. Choose who you are going to spend time with and who you are not.

Be the architect of your success by choosing how you think, how you live, how you behave, and who is in your life.

Until next time,

Happy Living!

Christia Sale

The Most SELFISH Woman in America!

Women’s Life After Divorce Expert

P.S. Let me know how you feel about this topic in the comments below. I know it is not your normal way of thinking, so let’s discuss it!

Cheers!